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Support for those unfairly treated?

  • Gillian48
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26 Feb 13 #381329 by Gillian48
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I don''t understand some decisions either - my ex came out of the divorce smelling of roses - he earns £85k lives in 5 bed home on his own (well with his friend but says he''s not cohabiting) though I had evidence he is and so sharing bills etc.. I live in rented with the kids - im disabled can''t work - he gives me 5p a year SM - trying to get it raised without success. Everytime I go to court the judge changes her mind - had the same judge throughout the divorce - got the same one again - she doesn''t like women and that shows - she says I have no case to increase the 5p ?!? I can''t even afford to eat some days!
Why does it vary in different areas? Why is there no guidelines that should be followed at the end of the day it appears to me if you''re honest you get nothing if you lie, cheat and deceive the court like my ex you get it all?? very strange. I cry all the time - just wonder what''s the point?

  • Enough Already
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26 Feb 13 #381335 by Enough Already
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Chocaholic - I empathise, I really do. This is exactly what I am talking about. There are probably hundreds of thousands of people out there this is happening too and it is not right. It is swept under the carpet and ignored. The judges just move the pieces around the board and sod what happens after that or the damaging effect it causes.

I am really angry and upset on behalf of anyone in this situation and if there is anything in my power I can do to change this in some way I will but I am at a loss against the mightly system we all face and the useless so called ''reforms'' that take place every few years and achieve little or nothing. The legal system seems ''all sown up'' and exclusive. It is all about the tricks you play and the connections barristers may have with judges on the circuit perhaps...?

It is the judges I have real issue with - they need to be accountable for their actions but at the moment it seems they are almost beyond reproach. I understand you can only call them on the fact that they are not cunducting their court sessions properly - not whether they are fit to make these unfair and sweeping decisions. I am sure it has always been so but I think the volume and frequency of cases these days with poor judgement applied actually makes this a human rights issue.

How can we bring Human Rights law into divorce as it seems clearly to me that there are breaches of it going on.....anyone?

  • AnaisM
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26 Feb 13 #381383 by AnaisM
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Yes, I think that perhaps human rights cases have been fought on less,although Im not too well informed on that and in fact if anyone had told me when I married that this is what would happen if my other half fancied a change after 30 years, I most certainly would not have lived my life believing in human decency and that if that failed then the law would offer some support and a fair system would be in place to protect me.

I have wondered about my human rights and those of the women (and sometimes men) who are raising the next generation in poverty because the other parent has opted out.

AnaisM

  • toystory
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26 Feb 13 #381425 by toystory
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I have been following this thread with interest. It is clear that some of us receive a very raw deal with the current legal process surrounding the division of financial assets and ongoing child and spousal maintenance.

In my situation there was significant non-disclosure during Ancillary Relief proceedings along with my high-earning ex quitting his job and then choosing to doctor his bank statements to paint a picture quite different to reality. Fortunately I uncovered most of this before the FDR but was amazed at how little the Judge was interested in it. They just seem focused on getting the parties to agree - everything else, the lying, cheating, doctoring just gets overlooked. Incredibly given the patchy nature of ex''s disclosure we settled and I thought momentarily as I left the courtroom that things could only get better after all that horrendous fighting. How wrong I was.

A week later the ex moved to Asia with the OW (as a self-employed management consultant) and just refused to meet any of his financial obligations. He has left no address, I haven''t a clue where he is. I am struggling to pay the mortgage and look after the children - it is affecting my sleep, my mood just everything and the kids have been dealt a second-blow and are receiving professional counselling. As I can''t afford a solicitor I am trying to enforce on my own which is a nightmare. No-one seems to know what I should do. I lie awake at night thinking there should be an organisation to take over particularly difficult challenging cases when there is wilful non-payment by a NRP. I feel alone and angry- it''s amazing what divorce does to your soul.

Meanwhile the ex is enjoying a life of luxury with numerous foreign holidays etc, he jets in and out of the UK to see the children during their school holidays and I facilitate phone conversations 3 times a week all whilst not contributing a bean. He claims he is in poverty-stricken but enjoys a champagne lifestyle. How can this be? Is there anyone who sees this as unfair?

Would be very interested to see a pressure group form - there needs to be an urgent re-look at current practices.

toystory

  • Enough Already
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28 Feb 13 #381662 by Enough Already
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Me again! Just dropping in to keep this thread alive :)

Thanks for the further responses.

Now this is partially what I am talking about, have a read:

www.guardian.co.uk/law/butterworth-and-b...orce-lawyers-respond

I am not quite sure of the publishing date of this article but it looks fairly recent.

So as to the total disparity nationwide on judgements and % splits, it seems from this article that solicitors are well aware it is an issue. I have not read the link to the proposed law reforms and I know Ruby Tuesday has posted some info here too but to be honest, wading through all that legal mumco jumco has little appeal I am sorry to say - especially as it is purely at proposal stage and so much could change.

Also, on Daybreak this morning, I saw a headline come up in text on the screen about solicitors being told to get their house in order but then no other mention in the actual news and I cannot find anything in today''s papers so not sure that the source of that was?

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28 Feb 13 #381735 by Enough Already
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Aha!

I have more. Vanessa Lloyd Platt was on the lunchtime ITV News explaining how not to rack up solicitor''s costs (all common sense stuff)!

Also found this www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21611139

So at least it is on the news agenda.

EA

  • AnaisM
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28 Feb 13 #381742 by AnaisM
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Yes I saw it, good, but a long way to go I think before anything fundamental changes. Solicitors hourly rates are outrageous and in my experience a lot of the communication/preparation could be done by a good legal secretary, and it could be charged at a fraction of the cost.

When a marriage breaks down people are not always in a fit state to shop around for legal help on the open market, this leaves them open to more injustice. Finances are the main worry for people splitting up (mostly women because they own so little of the worlds wealth), and the last thing they need is for an inadequate/incompetent solicitor to make things worse for them.

AnaisM

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