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Holiday with Children - can she stop me?

  • robmcd
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27 Jan 08 #12070 by robmcd
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s2bx has just announced she's not happy about me taking out 4 yo on holiday in May - but she's ok about the 7 yo.

She says she's not going to let me take her as I'm not capable of looking after her - she needs her mum.

Kids live with mum in week and with me weekends - i see them one night in the week. We've just split.

Can she do this? Can I go for custody?

  • DownButNotOut
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27 Jan 08 #12078 by DownButNotOut
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Legally as you have parental responsibility for the kids you are entitled to take them abroad for up to 1 month. As long as you notify the other parent - you do not need their permission.


The main practical step is to get them on your passport if they are not currently.

  • Angel557
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27 Jan 08 #12079 by Angel557
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It has not been possible to add a child to an adult's passport since 6 October 1998. However, children who are already included in their parents' passports can continue to travel on these passports until they reach the age of 16 or the passport expires.

If the passport on which your child is included is replaced, you have to apply for a separate passport for the child.

A child passport costs £46 for a standard application.

  • robmcd
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27 Jan 08 #12091 by robmcd
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Both girls have their own passports.

Last thing she said was she was going to see a sol tomorrow!

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27 Jan 08 #12095 by DownButNotOut
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So...legally you are entitled to take them on holiday.

But practically you need to get your hands on those passports. Does she have them at the moment?

  • Fiona
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28 Jan 08 #12124 by Fiona
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JMO, but you have just separated so things are very raw and knee jerk reactions aren't helpful. I don't think parental rights are really the issue here and some consideration needs to be given to the welfare of your daughter. Clearly if you are looking after a child for a weekend including overnight it's nonsense to suggest you are not capable of caring for your daughter. However, your wife may have a point about your D needing her Mum. Your D is at a development stage when being away from her primary attachment for more than a night or so might be distressing, particularly at the upsetting time of family breakdown when children can feel very insecure.

When your D feels secure she will be able to separate from the main attachment with confidence and your involvement, which is equally important in developmental terms, will provide a link between the protectiveness of the main attachment and family and the world at large. The fact that your wife isn't against the older child going on holiday indicates that she doesn't oppose contact per se. If you can't agree about child related matters mediation can help find a way forward that works for everyone..

  • madaboutcars
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28 Jan 08 #12138 by madaboutcars
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my x2b tried to stop me taking my 3 year old on holiday abroad. As people have said, because of marriage, you have joint parental responsibility and are allowed but you still have to get hold of the passport.
Luckily my x2b had originally given me the passport as she had agreed to the holiday and then changed her mind :angry:. She told me that if i took my daughter, she would contact the airport and tell them her daughter had been abducted!
Anyway to cut a long story short, I was advised to go through the courts, for them to decide. It was very expensive but we won in the end, judge vcould not see any reason as to why i couldnt.
Would you be able to cope with both children by yourself or are you taking other people with you. i can imagine a 4 year old can be very demanding!!
But like previouly been said, it does seem that your x2b has your childrens interests paramount as she has agreed to let you take the older one.
Maybe take the older one this year, and review it next year when they are abit older. The 7 year old might like the idea of just her and daddy having some bonding time.

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