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Child accsses

  • mumtoboys
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16 May 12 #330824 by mumtoboys
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and in the meantime, rugby, what happens? child misses out? mum becomes petulant and digs her heels in even further?

stopping money altogether is not the answer to this. Understanding that cutting the maintenance in the first place by over £200 may well have caused her problems - I suggest you cut your budget by that much each month, without notice, and see what happens! I appreciate that if the OP was paying over the odds and it was causing him problems, it''s not unreasonable to do this but did he discuss this with her before doing it? did he offer to put in place a lesser reduction month on month so that she had time to adjust her budgets? or did he just go ahead and expect there to be no backlash?

  • rugby333
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16 May 12 #330832 by rugby333
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mumtoboys, are you seriously seeking to justify messing around with contact based on maintenance?

  • Tinkerbell37
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16 May 12 #330835 by Tinkerbell37
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No...we are not!!!!!
My partners ex is though!!!
They had an arranged schedule for the year which she is going back on.
All he wants is for his son to be allowed over as he has been.
She is saying she will not allow their son over.at all.
I don''t understand why a mother would use their child in this way.
My partners son wants to still come over to us but she won''t listen.

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16 May 12 #330836 by Tinkerbell37
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Yes he gave her notice and seeing as she earns £60,000 a year and has a new partner living with her who earns £50,000 a year to my partners £30,000...he has made more than a £200 a less month drop in lifestyle due to agreeing to picking up his son and paying exta fuel costs.
He tried for a year to negotiate with her to which she would not respond...you tell me that''s a fair way to deal with the matter??

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16 May 12 #330839 by Tinkerbell37
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Thank you :)
Yes..my partner has contacted his bank to set up direct debit of £408,which he is more than happy to do!!
She won''t give us an answer as to how those 51 days are to be spent or if that will include any overnight visits..we are applying for a court order today.
It''s such a shame that she has chosen to react this way as my partners son still wants to come over...won''t know until Friday whether he''ll be allowed.
Thanks for your time :)

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16 May 12 #330842 by rugby333
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Tinkerbell,

I am confused:

1. Does your partner pay any spousal maintenance or just child maintenance?

2. Has his salary dropped since the initial agreement was made or not?

3. Did he agree to do extra mileage or not?

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16 May 12 #330844 by Tinkerbell37
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He pays child maintenance..the figure was worked out by his ex 2 years ago...my partner contacted Csa and they worked out his payments to be £408....he does not pay spousal maintenance because she was always the higher wage earner.
He was left no choice but to accept the extra mileage as she threatened to stop access if he didn''t.
He is fed up of being dictated to unreasonable demands!!

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