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Child accsses

  • WhiteRose
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15 May 12 #330730 by WhiteRose
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rugby333 wrote:

As an NRP and as a man, your partner is in a particularly difficult position. Entering the court arena on contact is a nightmare for him: it''ll take years if his ex decides to be difficult and he will lose.

Therefore, sadly, your best bet is to cut maintenance altogether and then bargain with her.

She will scream blue murder, but just ignore it.

If finances go to court you will have to fill in form E which has a section asking if any other litigation is going on, so the court is very familiar with financial disputes causing contact problems. The courts priority will be to sort out the whole mess without punishing either of you rather.


As tempting as this may be Rugby - he still needs to fulfill his legal obligations and pay for his children. Stopping CM will punish the kids and I fear rather than put the ex in the mood for negotiation, will perhaps encourage a tit-for-tat escalation - who knows where things will end.

I would always encourage folk to rise above the provocation, not to retaliate and seek the legal route.

Contact can not be denied because the NRP pays what is recommended by CSA - even if this happens to be lower than the original agreement, the court should back you up.

Be squeaky clean and do everything above board and the law should side with you. Maintain calm and submit your paperwork to Court.

Good luck

WR

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15 May 12 #330731 by Emma8485
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My partner went through this exact process and it took almost a whole year. he didnt see his daughter for six months of it.

Not once did he cease his CM payments as a bargaining tool though and I wouldnt advise it - it wont look good for him at all if he does that, and if its been done through the CSA then they will pursue him for the arrears.

Rugby, I dont know the details of your case but its not fair to the OP to say that he will lose. The court arena is dfificult, but my partner won, as did Summer on here so it is incorrect to say that the OP''s partner "will lose"

It may be a knee jerk reaction to the loss of maintenance, I would suggest putting the wheels in motion for mediation and for him to be prepared to apply to court if this doesnt work.

take care x

  • Tinkerbell37
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15 May 12 #330763 by Tinkerbell37
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Thanks everyone for your comments...& yes I find it sad and shocking that a mum would do this to their child!!!
My partners ex has just informed us by txt that he can see his son but for only 51 days which is about 30 days less than previously arranged.
She has no court order herself does anyone know if she can enforce this?

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15 May 12 #330766 by Emma8485
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I dont wish to cast any doubt on this womans integrity but the CSA threshold for a higher rate of child maintenance is 52 days, so if he has 51 and she goes via the CSA then she can claim more. ......

Makes me think .......

  • Lostboy67
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15 May 12 #330772 by Lostboy67
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Hi,
A contact order is definitly the way to go if things can''t be resolved.
When your partner reduced the payments did he inform his ex? If it came as a suprise when the bank statment showed a lower credit then I can perhaps understand why his ex may have reacted in this way. It may have been better to inform her a few months in advance and then reduced the payments over time to the lower figure.
I agree with WR that halting payments all together will only add fuel to the fire and for the sake of the children you need to defuse the situation a little so that reasonable negotiation/mediation can take place.

LB

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16 May 12 #330802 by Tinkerbell37
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Hi....thanks again everyone for this :)
Yes he has informed her 3 weeks before the amount would go down...and yes I had sussed the 51 day category!!! But when csa asked us about the children staying over it was based on the last year...which we have a record of since she gave us a coloured coded chart with the years acess printed on it!!! My partner is trying to get the mediation rolling but she won''t answer any questions about it.
We can''t really afford to go down the solicitor route and he will have to represent himself which I''m slightly nervous about...,
Especially since she is a legal secretary and has instant access to some good advice!!!!! Shame no one can advise her on how not to make a situation worse!!!! :)

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16 May 12 #330814 by rugby333
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Hi Tinkerbell,

If you accede to someone who is prepared to use their children in this way, then you will be a hostage forever.

This case is simple:

1. You have had to reduce your payments due to loss of income.

2. Her reaction has been to cut access.

The court has seen this a million times as has everyone on Wikivorce.

What is new information is that she is offering 51 days contact. This basically means she doesn''t really like denying the father access to the children.

My advice still stands: cut payments completely and soon enough £405 per month and reasonable contact will seem an attractive option to her!

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