A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Feeling Sorry for Myself...

  • ALICEATWONDERLAND's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
25 Jul 12 #345250 by ALICEATWONDERLAND
I''ve just read a "tweet" my 13 year old son wrote about how great his step-mum is...

It hurts because exH kept the house when we split last August. Me and my son went to live in a rented flat until he bought me out which he did in December, paying me 40% of the equity. In February I bought a little house for me and my son so we had to move twice in six months.

My ex was manipulating. When we were together he said if I followed his suggestions - things like what I was to wear then the marriage would work. If I was good he drew a smiley face on the calender, if not a sad face... Honestly! He used to say that if I didn''t make the marriage work he would keep the house and our son because "the law was on my side as the mother."

When it came to it he did keep the house also using the reasons that he could get a bigger mortgage than me. He couldn''t because of his age. That it was more his becuase he did "all" the decorating. He didn''t. But one of us had to go and it clearly wasn''t going to be him.

He introduced his girlfriend (the great step-mum) to our son just 3 weeks after I moved out last summer.

Also last October I offered my son that we go on holiday abroad somewhere nice this August as an end to our unsettling year. I offered he could bring a friend. He didn''t want to go.

He''s now in France with his dad on holiday. I''m not going anywhere as they only booked for France the day before they went so I can''t take time off work at short notice.

I''m feeling like I tried so hard this last year for my son and it''s just been thrown back in my face. I''d really like to have been looking forward to a holiday and moving forward. It has been a tough year for me with health issues as well caused by the stress and anxiety. Instead I''m thinking how unfair everything is :(

  • sun flower
  • sun flower's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
25 Jul 12 #345292 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
It is unfair. I wish I could think of something helpful to say...this is all so painful for you.

I didn''t want to leave your post unanswered. Sometimes our challenge is just to survive the pain for today and get to the other side.

In you position I would feel very threatened and cheated...I wish I could help more.

  • pixy
  • pixy's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
25 Jul 12 #345305 by pixy
Reply from pixy
So he''s able to get on with his step mum? All the more credit to you - you have a well balanced child who can form relationships and who has not been poisoned by events.

He didn''t want to go on holiday with you? Or didn''t want to put you to expense and trouble after all you have been through? There are many possible explanations. Rejection is only a very distant possibility.

Stop torturing yourself. Pat yourelf on the back for being a terrific mum instead.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11