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stepson doesnt want to see mum,can we force him?

  • cerys88
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16 Aug 12 #349884 by cerys88
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Hi, my fella has full custody to his 8 yr old son, his mum hardly rings texts or visits, when she does ring she demands to see him & if she doesn''t get her way she threatens us with court or to take him away! The lad doesn''t want to see her he has nightmares about her taking him away from his dad, he rather call me mum that his own!
The courts have said she must be supervised but she thinks differently, she''s failed on numerous occasions to visit ring or even text! But when she has visited we have taken the lad to her even tho he doesn''t want to go, can we stand by him & not allow her to see him if that''s what he wants? Or do we still have to make him see her?

Thanks Cerys

  • Forseti
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16 Aug 12 #349897 by Forseti
Reply from Forseti
You need to check carefully the terms of the order, but a contact order can only require you to make a child available for contact. If he doesn''t want to see his mother he cannot be forced, but you cannot prevent the contact.

In the case of Re L-W the court said,

''The father’s obligations under each successive order were to "allow" contact and "make M available" for contact. To "allow" is to concede or to permit; to "make available" is to put at one’s disposal or within one’s reach. That was the father’s obligation; no more and no less… The father’s obligation, according to Judge Caddick. was to "make sure that he did all that was necessary so that that child would go" and to take "whatever other steps within the exercise of his Parental Responsibility were necessary to make sure that he went". The father may have been under a parental or moral obligation to do these things, but on the wording of these orders he was not, in my judgment, under any legal obligation such as to render him in breach of the orders for failing to do them, let alone for failing to achieve – to "ensure" – that contact actually took place. Nor, with all respect to Mr Walden-Smith, was the father under a legally enforceable obligation to take such steps in the exercise of his parental discipline, guidance and encouragement as were reasonable in all the circumstances to ensure that contact took place.''

It sounds as if the boy may need counselling to be able to see his mother, or that she may benefit from parenting classes. Is there any possibility of maintaining contact with his wider maternal family?

  • cerys88
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16 Aug 12 #349910 by cerys88
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I think you may be right that he needs counselling, he''s been through so much! & it''s like he''s scared to see her but is adamant he doesn''t want nothing to do with her! She never asks how is he just demands to see him after not having no contact with him for months I.e was ment to see him before easter just gone she failed that, then we had no contact until end of July! But failed to ring on weekend when she said she would & we haven''t heard anything since 30th July! We do make ourselfs available but if we haven''t heard from her we make plans then she just happens to want to ser him when we''v got plans then she threatens us I.e courts & to smash my teeth in!!

We ask him do u want to ser ur mum at such a day & time & he says no but we have taken him just so she doesn''t give us grief, but there''s been times she hasn''t turned up & the lad has panicked for nothing!

Thanks cerys

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