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children and court

  • sauri
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08 Sep 12 #354553 by sauri
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Hi everyone, I am facing decision to file to court to resolve childrens issue. Please give me some advice what you think.
Finances are in court and hearing in Nov. Currently we are all in the same house as I have not got money to rent property that I could have our 3 boys (age 3,5,7) and he has all the family money (over 550 000) so I can not get housing benefits. Unfortunately he has been the main carrier over the year and I have been working for 15 months. He has been completely irrational and not communicating about simplest things concerning children, never mind finances.
He has done many thingswith no regard to children and yesterday the drop too much. He has been with children away for holidays. He was supposed to come back to family home and I was to have whole wed with children and I organised my work to have a day off. He arrived after 15 on Wednesday although he has been in the country since Tuesday but against my wishes went to his mother. This reduced my time with children on the day to say 3-4 h after not seeing them for 2 weeks. The next day I had only 2 h before they went to bed. Then I made it clear I want the children for the weekend as I am finishing on sat at 15:30. So the next thing he did was to take children away to his mother on Friday after school without any discussion and agreement from my part claiming that he would be back Sunday morning ( read midday). So I would not have seen children neither Friday nor sat and he has just came back from holidays and just been to his mother denying me time with them on Wednesday!!!
On Monday morning I am going to work. On top he has taken the only car that I could drive and I put petrol in. He has been refusing me access to assets and other cars ( in total 4 houses and 5 cars all in his name). There is no communication from his part at all. Does that sound to you like a fair play? Does that sound to you like I should start court proceedings for children as well? Any advice will be appreciated.

  • Yummy_Mummy
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11 Sep 12 #355174 by Yummy_Mummy
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I am so sorry to hear about your situation and can see how difficult it is for you.

Do you have a solicitor? Do you think mediation will work?

I would suggest that mediation is a good start if you both are children-focused rather than playing games.

I think keeping a diary - in details of all this so it will help.

I would suggest that you try to do the right thing for the children though. Again if you feel that you are not getting much time then you need to note it.

Courts wil consider all the marital assets. It depends on how he will cooperate. There are many ex-husbands who give their ex-wives alot and many don''t want to give them anything and take it all, leaving them with nothing.

It is good that you do have a job and they will take that into account too.

I am afraid, no I don''t think it is fair.

Is it not possible that you can a car? And if things are really not good then perhaps one of you can move into the other property and take it in turn to return back where children live so both you and your stbx can see the children. This may reduce further conflict.

Hope this helps.

  • khan72
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11 Sep 12 #355331 by khan72
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The reason he has taken the children is because money follows children. Whoever has the children gets almost everything. Simple.

  • loveourmum
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11 Sep 12 #355333 by loveourmum
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With all due respect khan I do not understand your statement:

"The reason he has taken the children is because money follows children. Whoever has the children gets almost everything. Simple"

Please explain.

Thanks.

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11 Sep 12 #355336 by khan72
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Loveourmum,
Its a trick that men play when they want to keep all their assets. I am simply being honest here. Just need to read between the lines.

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11 Sep 12 #355345 by loveourmum
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With all due respect Khan my dearly beloved late mum "played these games in the 1970''s."

Been there, bought the t-shirt, danced the dance!

More importantly been that child!

I can read between the lines given I have lived through these "silly games!"

I am now a grandmother not a young lady going through this whole sorry saga of a process!

Best wishes.

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