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1st hearing report

  • box clever
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19 Sep 12 #356676 by box clever
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Just had first hearing. All went ok. Cafcass were really good.
Suggested slow contact to start with as haven''t seen children for over two years, mother stopped access due to messy divorce.
Mother is adament I won''t get too see my children, 10 and fourteen, stating I ***** off the mother and new partner.
Both ordered to attend a p I p course.
I am more than willing to do anything to see my children, but mother has obviously no wishes for this to happen as she has a new life and doesn''t want me to be part of the children''s.
How can I progress the matter in my favour?

  • BoysMum
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19 Sep 12 #356709 by BoysMum
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Hi Box Clever,

When you say Cafcass have suggested a slow introduction to contact, what have they suggested? Did you manage to get any interim contact while the case progresses through the courts?

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19 Sep 12 #356769 by box clever
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Hi boys mum.
They didn''t state what they had in mind, but I suspect contact center.
No interim , but a feelings and wishes statement and p I p course we both have to attend to help communication. Won''t make any difference, she''s adamant I''m not going to see them.
Thinking of applying for a psychologist to speak to the children and get to the bottom of it. I have been told what she is doing is a form of child abuse.
Shame wikivorce don''t go into stopped contact and brainwashing as this must be so common.

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19 Sep 12 #356771 by BoysMum
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Hi Box Clever,

When is your next hearing date? The PIP courses are supposed to be very good :)So without Interim Contact, you can''t actually start to re-build your relationship with your kids which is a shame. Are you allowed indirect contact at the moment? Could you prehaps write to the kids and tell them how much you are looking forward to seeing them? Did they give you any idea when contact may start?

  • pgs1975
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19 Sep 12 #356773 by pgs1975
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Hi Box Clever, you may want to research parent alienation, it is more common than you think when one partner uses the children against the other. It would not be in the childrens best interest to do this

Hope it works out quickly

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19 Sep 12 #356778 by TBagpuss
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parental alienation is not recognised (as it isn''t upheld, as a syndrome, by Psychologists and Psychiatrists) for that reason alleging it in court proceedigns is unlikelyto help you.

You can of course rasie with the court and Cafcass your concerns over the negative pressure being put on the childnre by their mother, but don''t shoot yourself in the foot by calling it PAS.

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19 Sep 12 #356779 by Fiona
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Thinking of applying for a psychologist to speak to the children and get to the bottom of it. I have been told what she is doing is a form of child abuse.


That might be counter-productive and bring about your own alienation. Children often resent undergoing therapy when in their eyes the problem lies with parents. That''s why in the first instance the recommendation is usually mediation and/or SPIPs in the hope that parents will be encouraged to put the needs of the children first rather than the issues between adults.

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