hi, thanks to all who replied to my previous post. I would like to ask how I can answer fake accusations made by my ex: " she smacks and shouts at children I can not believe it myself", " she is truly impatient and It is me who is the patient with children", "i have been main carrier for 3 years now", "I do not want my children to have contact with her parents as her father is a very violent man and her mother is an alcoholic". There are many others that were addressed at the time of filing for my anti molestation order and his cross Petition. All made up. But all this went to CAFCASS who will read it and make report. How can I defend myself?
How old are your children, are they old enough for their wishes and feelings to be taken into account?
Have you spoken to caffcass yourself yet? Personally, rather than trying to deny the accusations made, I would just concentrate on answering caffcass questions truthfully. Let the, make up their own minds, as I am sure they are used to hearing such complaints thrown around. Talk about having a strong support networked friends and family (ie so they know you are not an isolated single parent who can''t cope alone) talk about your parents in a positive light and they good relationship with your children. Try not to worry too much, as what he has accused you of is not criminal or even worthy of social service involvement. Even the smacking is a parenting choice, not illegal (I''m not saying that you do, but even if caffcass believe you do it isn''t a reason to award residence to your ex)
As for being the main carer, I believe they can verify this by speaking to other professionals, eg to establish who takes the kids to dr, dentist, school etc. would this be you or him? It''s a good indicator of who the main carer is.
children are very small 3,5,7. Unfortunately I have not got friends nor family at the thow of a stone to where I live. I have got friends who could help but it is long way away, so as much as supporting network I have not got that - it seems that it is very important factor here.
On top ex made it difficult for my parents to see children and made up accusations.
The courts are used to separated parents making allegations and counter allegations and without evidence a judge will have difficulty choosing between two versions of the same story. IF you are asked about the allegations you just say they are untrue and the ball is then in your ex''s corner. IF there is no independent evidence in the form of reports from professionals such as teachers, police, social of incidence of violence or alcohol abuse he isn''t going to get taken very seriously.
As far as the responsibility for child care is concerned your working and child caring patterns are evidence of the reality of the situation. It''s not just who did the school runs, visits to the doctors etc it is also who was responsible for children even though they were at school and would be responsible for collecting the children if they were ill or the school closed, who shops and prepares their food, washes and irons their clothes, does homework and takes them to activities etc.
Obviously school, doctors and adults running activities can verify if both parents were involved and if necessary it isn''t too difficult for CAFCASS to ascertain from children the extent which parents were involved with their day-to-day care.