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Toys, items....he wants it all

  • Yummy_Mummy
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12 Oct 12 #360604 by Yummy_Mummy
Topic started by Yummy_Mummy
Nothing is enough and he wants more...
ok so certain things I would like but seriously the man wants baking trays.

No he is not a baker. I don''t understand what he wants it for considering he thought it was my job to cook and clean.

And he is fighting to have everything.
Can I really go to Court for all this if we dispute and not decide on items?
I haven''t got time but I haven''t got money either.

OMG and there is Fighting over toys?


He has listed the toys he bought for 10 years and he wants them but kids say they want to keep toys here and I don''t have much money at all to duplicate items.....

I thought the toys were for the children.
Their whole world is torn apart, their parents have separated and they are really upset.

They will have to move home and go between two houses, they feel they have to choose between me and their father and I am trying really hard to say that they don''t need to choose and that mummy and daddy love them both.

I just do not want to be scoring points...

Surely the kids can ''their'' toys whatever they want and wherever they want them.

Who cares what they do with them if it makes them feel better, happy and secure.

I feel so sad, downhearted and how much more do I need to take from him?
Please help. This is just crap.:S

  • maisymoos
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12 Oct 12 #360609 by maisymoos
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The pettiness can get unbelievable. If items are under £500 a court won''t be interested. Possession is 9 tenths of the law ;).

Give him his personal possessions back and if I were you I would just ignore his petty requests.

My ex sent me email after email demanding various things including my bed!! (not sure what he and OW have been sleeping on the last 2 years, perhaps its been the floor??:laugh:). I replied and said if he had issue with anything he should direct it through my solicitor as I was finding his continuous stream of emails harassing. He has now gone quiet so I hope thats the last of it:unsure:

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12 Oct 12 #360613 by sexysadie
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Just say no. Then he will have to take you to court if he really wants those things. You can self-rep and he will be the one spending all that money. Anything you use for normal family life, just say you need it for the children (including baking trays which you need to use to cook their meals). If you just continue to refuse to let him have the stuff, eventually his solicitor will tell him he is wasting his time. My ex wanted me to pay him for certain items; I gave him the ones I didn''t want and just said that the others were in use. You just have to be firm and stand your ground.

Regarding the toys, just say ''Sorry, these toys belong to the children and need to be available for them to play with in their main home''.

The problem is, YM, that you still haven''t got used to the fact that you don''t have to do what he wants. Just say no.

Best wishes,
Sadie

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12 Oct 12 #360626 by Lostboy67
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Hi
With specific regard to the kids toys, you should make it clear to him that they are the kids toys and they can decide, unless the item in question is particularly large then there is no reason why the kids take them from one house to the other.

With regard to the other stuff, there is an argument that its a joint possession and he hs as much right to any of it as you do. What you have to do between you is to descide on how these things are to be divided.
It maybe that his list is a starting point of negotiation. Go down the list and mark what he can have, add any other items where you perhaps were thinking of buying a new one/ditching, and send it back.

LB

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12 Oct 12 #360640 by Yummy_Mummy
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Thank you ever so much for all your replies.

Is it possible that he can come in as we both own the house and take the stuff under my nose anyway? And there is nothing I can do about it.

I do believe that he has got rid of my cds, books and jewellery but I can''t prove it.
He can be spiteful.

Any advice on this please?
I''ve had enough of him, this crap and want him to leave me alone.
:unsure:

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12 Oct 12 #360645 by maisymoos
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How long is it since he moved out? You have a right to privacy.

I know there are all sorts of issues regarding changing locks but as far as I am aware there is nothing to stop you adding a lock for extra security.;)

I knew my ex only had one key so used the security chain on that door when leaving the house and would leave out of the other door.

You can also disable garage doors too!!

I suggest taking measures asap, I left it a bit late in my case and only got wise once the garage was cleared of all the decent stuff and he removed my laptop from the house. Got wise after that though :dry:

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12 Oct 12 #360672 by Yummy_Mummy
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It has been more than 6 months but less than a year.
Does that matter?

I don''t actually know his address and where he is currently living.

What do you suggest so that I can protect and retain what I have.
He already has the equity from the marital home once it is sold.

My solicitor believes I am obliged to let him in as he owns the house but so do I!

If I do get the locks put on or changed, what if he breaks the locks? Does he have right to come in?
Will I look as if I am being unreasonable?

Frankly I want his things out but don''t see why he needs to come in.

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