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The nerves are getting to us......

  • Emma8485
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13 Apr 12 #323556 by Emma8485
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Wikis, I am really hoping some on here will relate to this...

I have been helping my partner self rep for a year, 2/3 of the time we have been together. Its his final hearing for residence and contact on Monday, we have an excellent Cafcass report but we have been writing up all the questions etc and the past week has been hell.

We havent been close this week at all or intimate :blush:I know some of this is down to both of our stress, but also I am carrying this huge fear that because I have helped write statements, got advice on here for the hearing etc that if something goes wrong then it will be my fault.

I haven''t ever got involved, or been party to any of teh hearings etc but this one I am and I am feeling very down tonight about the whole thing :(

  • BoysMum
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13 Apr 12 #323560 by BoysMum
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Emma,

I follow your posts, especially about Monday''s hearing. You always sound so positive and upbeat. It''s just the nerves, and you and your OH have waited so long for this. I suppose with the Cafcass delays, and the incredible amount of time this has taken, it''s just taking it''s toll on you. This time next week, your''ll be out celebrating !!

Its bound to be a tough weekend. But, it''s finally here, and everything you''ve been through, will finally come to an end. By no means blame yourself for anything, from what I have read, you have been an amazing tower of strength to your OH.

All the best for Monday, i will be checking in to see how it went.:)

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13 Apr 12 #323563 by Joe2020
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Emma8485 wrote:

we have an excellent Cafcass report
(


Enough said.

Worry when you''ve got something to worry about.

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13 Apr 12 #323565 by MissTish1
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Emma, I know exactly how you feel. Like you, I did all the prep for my husbands hearings, all the research, typed all the necessary stuff, got all the superb advice from the wonderful Wikis and didn''t go to any hearings myself (apart from our res hearing of course, but I was an applicant so had to go). Like you, I worried that if anything went wrong it would be my fault. But, you will have followed, as I did, the proper ''form'' so to speak, so you''ve done everything by the book, how it should be done. How a case is presented is important, of course, but its the facts and the evidence that determines the outcome, and for you they speak for themselves :)

Your feelings are entirely normal. You''re nervous, of course, its to be expected. Monday is such an important day and nothing anyone says will lessen the nerves. But, it will be okay, and afterwards you''ll have butterflies of joy!

It''s not surprising there''s been no intimacy this last week - been there too! You and your OH have your minds on Monday and can''t concentrate on anything else - don''t feel bad about it. On Monday night your bedroom windows will be steamed up :silly:

You''re an amazing woman Emma, for all you have done. Have faith.

Hugs xx

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13 Apr 12 #323571 by Emma8485
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Thank you so much for your lovely posts, I had to come one here tonight for support as I dont want to burden him any more than he already is.
Had to LOL at the bedroom window comment MissTish xx

Boysmum thank you also for following this story, its been a long time..... Joe, as always, we follow each others hearings, and I know you''re there a week after us x

I am so hoping for a good outcome, he is a devoted dad who hasnt seen his child for six months, I am worried about the hearing, and I also think I have trouble in trying to relate to his ex, because I am the total opposite to her. My ex was horrid to me but it doesnt make him any less a father, and despite the stupid things he still does as evidence by my other post today he remains their dad.

I will of course post on Monday whichever way it goes, and hopefully our experience will help someone.

Fingers crossed
xxx

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13 Apr 12 #323581 by MissTish1
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Emma, I''ve ''known'' my husbands ex for 11 years now, and I will never understand her or relate to her. In all honesty I don''t want to, because she''s in a pretty dark place. My advice,.don''t even try, but expect to be constantly frustrated! You just have to live with it I''m afraid.

Your experience WILL help others. Those of us who have been through it can all help, because we all know what its like, how it feels and can support those who are just starting their journeys. I found it hugely helpful and reassuring speaking to others who just knew.

I know you''re gonna be smiling on Monday, and your OH is gonna be one happy daddy. And he deserves that.

Keep posting over the weekend if you need support, we''ve all been there and know what the ''pre-court'' jitters are like.
:side:

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13 Apr 12 #323588 by Emma8485
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TY we have booked a day at Alton Towers tomorrow for my two and one of my eldests friends, and then my youngest has a dance competition on Sunday so am hoping the weekend will keep us busy, but no doubt I will still pop in! xxx

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