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Opinions please

  • u6c00
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02 Aug 12 #347003 by u6c00
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Ok, gotta write my statement and I don''t know whether to put a certain part in.

a few years back the ex attacked me with broken glass. When the police turned up to arrest her she apparently told them I''d tried to rape her (in a public place in broad daylight).

Anyway, the police never mentioned it so I don''t know if it''s true, I was never questioned or anything.

I''m trying to get across a point in the statement that the ex has a history of making ridiculous and outlandish statements to hide that''s really going on (Another example she told her ex that she had a brain tumour that was causing her to act irrationally). Do I include this point? If I do, it means that I have to write in a statement that she accused me of rape, which for all I know might make the judge think twice about my character.

  • sexysadie
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02 Aug 12 #347016 by sexysadie
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You need to stay child-focused. I don''t any of this will be seen as particularly relevant and talking about your ex rather than the children won''t help your case.

Best wishes,
Sadie

  • C. J.
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03 Aug 12 #347144 by C. J.
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My fiance is also preparing his position statement for a hearing next month. He''s been going round in circles for 3 years so he very keen on trying to make the judge realise the ex''s pattern of behaviour and the fact that her negative mindeset has not improved.

A diplomatic way of referring to her mindset without appearing to attack her is by briefly mentioning that she has made unfounded allegations against you and consequently this has had a detrimental effect on the children''s relationship with their father due to...xyz bla bla bla.

Any statements you wish to make you just need to remember to make them child focused.

I hope this makes sense.

Good luck!

  • Singledad1
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03 Aug 12 #347156 by Singledad1
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I think if this is the nature of the ex then how is this not relevant to the welfare of the child? However there does seem to be a lack of evidence in which case if she is questioned in court she would simply deny it. What you need is to get a copy of the police record, from the police and submit that along with your statement as evidence. They should have recorded this.

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03 Aug 12 #347162 by C. J.
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I agree. It''s important not to make statements that appear to be a tit-for-tat exercise, however if the ex''s behaviour is the cause behind problems over contact then how can you not make the court aware of it?

It just needs to be carefully worded in a way that makes it child focused.

  • u6c00
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03 Aug 12 #347164 by u6c00
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Thanks. I''ve made a subject access request with the police. I don''t know for definite that she actually said it (she just told me that she did.

I didn''t include it in the statement, but I have asked to file a further statement later dealing with other issues. Hopefully I''ll have the police report by then and I''ll be able to state with certainty.

Essentially my point was that my ex can be violent, but makes up ridiculous lies to cover up her violent behaviour. In my case it was crying rape, in her ex''s case it was a brain tumour. I wanted to relate it back to her care of the children. I decided that it was best not to include it at this point though.

Thanks for the advice though.

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03 Aug 12 #347178 by rasher
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I think you would be on a sticky wicket dredging up things relating to your ex''s previous ex and trying to link it to now and how shes likely to behave in any future negotiations about care of children. It might be useful for you to have a set of examples,on standby, about ''fabrication'' in case you do end up in this scenario but running it all into a current statement might just set you up for a bigger battle than you already have on your hands. You have to present yourself to any court as working from a now position going forwards. You must also be seen to be reasonable and fair. Mud slinging at the beginning could jeopardise your position - presumably you are hoping to gain ground and need a court to side with you on that - therefore you must be an example of ''reasonableness'' personified not someone out to air all the dirty laundry at first hearing.

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