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help! advice pls first hearing on tuesday

  • anny
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10 Aug 12 #348690 by anny
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hello, I got a solicitor however she is sending someone else to the court hearing,
Anyway will paste my last post below this, at the minute I got proof regarding the alegations my ex husband made about work and my work colleages about ourselves taking drugs and injecting ourselves with adrenalin all was found to be false also I have the interviews they did to everyone includin his siter in law who then was my boss her saying about hi mental illness all this in writing and about his behavior.
I spoke to CAFFCAS on the phone I didnt realize it was a formal interview I think I was blabbing :/ but I pointed out I want to be part of my daughters life that all the alegations will be prrove to be false in the end I said Im up to any test or anything they need, he said what my ex husband is saying regarding mysel about me wanting to kill my daughter if she didnt come with me, about me abducting about me selling her to my country, all is not true and Im even willing to agree not to take her out without his permisson despite it all being ridiculous, I said I cant believe noone is helping with contact and not taking me seriously regarding my concerns and they all seem to be taking him onlyserously, I dont know what is gonna happen on tuesday I havent seen my daughter 5 year old for 3 weeks barely spoke to her on the phone :(( is too hard, and then I got this CAFFCAS guy saying that she may not be move around from house to have because it will be too much for her!! and the my hopes go :(, she is just 5, she needs her mum I told him she is a little girl who is being left with an agressive violent man full time who gets his mum to help to look after her, just because they say he is the main carer because I worked full time, I called SS so many times, went to the police, Im also doing the freedom program and refered myself to councelling as I have been separated from my daughter by this nasty man and his alegations.
thanks sorry is too long.






will I get my daughter back? :(2 Weeks, 5 Days ago

Hello,
This is a long story but gotta make it short,
well I left my husband because of DV and now he is trying to turn it around saying it was all me when it wasnt, I called the police on him they took him I was scared I didnt press charges which I should have done.
Anyway I work full time he doest he is on DLA because of postraumatic stress disorder because of this he gets legal aid, so he used to drop and pick up our daughter from school and because of this he is the main carer of her which I didnt know.
Anyway because of the DV incident I was told to leave him but at the time I had social services telling me to do so which I did but when I tried to get my daughter, he went away with her for 4 days and social services were looking they found them did a welfare check and said that they were fine, by then I became homeless and couldnt afford emergency housing so then had to stay with friends which made it harder get my daughter back with me and also I had to continue to work.
Anyway after a few weeks I got a private rented house, after 2 months I got a solicitor, now Im waiting for the first hearing, while all this happened my husband served me with divorce papers, had accussed me with many serious false allegations, and at the same time text me and begged me to go back with him, and lately he tried to get me fired with more false allegations.
I got no family in the uk, I got no criminal records, no drug issues, no alcohol issues, no mental illnesses, and all I care is my daughter I have reported every issue with social services call them lots of times but they wont get involve, my daughter is living with him and he is refusing contact and only wants supervise and accusses all my friends of being druggies and prostitues of course is not true, all I want to know is if will I ever get my daughter to live with me for at least half the week? even though she has been living with him for nearly 4 months?, I got a solicitor and they said if I tried to remove her from his house it will go against me even now I very much believe he is brainwashing her with all this lies and he is not acting on her best interest only to hurt me , Im also in DV course and got a support worker.
thanks for your answer.

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11 Aug 12 #348748 by Fiona
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I''m sorry you feel no one has helped but determining where your child lives and/or contact is a family law matter rather than one for the police or social services. Each case depends on the particular facts and your solicitor is in the best position to advise. The comments below are just general.

In children cases courts are well used to parents making allegations and counter allegations but without evidence in the form of reports from independent professionals (teachers, social services, police etc) a judge will have difficulty choosing between two versions of the same story. Nonetheless serious allegations may be treated as though they might be true whilst investigations are carried out and that might mean contact in contact centre for a while.

When making a decision about children a judge must give regard to the Welfare Checklist including the background and the effects any change is likely to have on the child. The pattern of work and child care is evidence of the existing arrangement. Generally it is thought that disrupting a child''s sense of security and established bonds isn''t in the interests of the child and it''s an uphill struggle changing the status quo.

Evidence of shared care would be a history of sharing the school runs, visits to doctors, being responsible for the child if they are taken ill whilst they are school, washing and ironing children''s clothing, buying and preparing food for the children, helping with homework etc.

DV organisations validate what''s happening to anyone who alleges DV but it''s different in court. When there is evidence of DV the courts will consider the effects on the child. Significant harm or a risk of significant harm is weighed against the harm children suffer when their attachments with a parent are disrupted. Low levels of DV are unlikely to have a major impact on the living or contact arrangements for children, although measures might be put in place to protect the children or a parent such as handovers being done through a third party.

As far as the actual divorce and finances are concerned conduct is rarely taken into account.

Hope that helps.

  • anny
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13 Aug 12 #349304 by anny
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Thanks for your reply.

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