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Child Contact & Domestic Violence Undertaking

  • InnerPeace
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09 Oct 12 #360065 by InnerPeace
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Hi,
I have accepted my husband''s domestic violence undertaking and given voluntarily undertaking to him for his cross application.
Cafcass will be carrying out checks.

It''s been 1.3 months since my child saw her father. Ofcourse after initial 1 month, she has started to miss him and would like to talk to him. I was getting tired of all solicitor''s advice and paying more than £10K bills to my solicitor, so I decided to contact him via email to re-establish chld contact.

Today he came back saying, his solicitor has advised him that " Due to all the domestic violence allegations the court will not accept an agreement between us until he has gone through the observed contact via Cafcass and they have seen the police reports.."

Is it true? Can a Consent Order not be reached between us? even though I have accepted his undertaking and believe he will stick to it.

I expect the CAFCASS report tobe positive as My child is missing her dad.

He also mentioned "An agreement between us will make things smoother once we are in court, and such agreement and discussions can be seen by the court as progress between ourselves for providing our child with what she needs: contact with both her mother and father. For that reason I will send you a proposal from my side instead in open instead of a reply to yours, since I cannot use your "without prejudice" proposal."

Can anyone please explain is it true what his solicitor has advised him? I am self representing and have absolutely no clue whether its correct?

Thanks

  • Yummy_Mummy
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09 Oct 12 #360070 by Yummy_Mummy
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I think it is correct.

His solicitor is doing everything to make sure that everything is done by the book as far as I can read.

Has the Cafcass report not been positive? And why not as you say that you were expecting it to be postive?

It is likely that the report will influence the undertakings.

Hope this helps a little.

  • InnerPeace
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09 Oct 12 #360071 by InnerPeace
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Hi Yummy Mummy,

Thanks for your message, no the CAFCASS has not made heir report yet.
I expect the report to be positive because, he was not physically violent towards my daughter and after 1 month of regressive behaviours, my daughter is missing him now. She asks for him therefore I thibnk the contact will be positive.

What do you mean it will have an impact on undertaking?

Thanks

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09 Oct 12 #360083 by Yummy_Mummy
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There is no reason why your stbx can not see your child so you encouraging it will go in your favour.

I wasn''t clear whether the undertaking had any implications on child contact. This obviously clarifies that it doesn''t.

I suggest that you could request a Directions for the father to make contact and contact between you and your stbx takes place with a third party involved due to domestic abuse and undertaking. This way you and your stbx may feel safer as both of you do not wish to get into any trouble.

You need to understand the exact wording and terms on the agreed undertaking. If the undertaking has been agreed by both of you and by the Court then it cannot be broken. Have you agreed on how long is it for? Or are you yet to agree?

You may wish to agree something for the benefit of the child during the Interim period until Cafcass release the report if it is likely to take quite sometime.

You showing priority to the need of your child will go in your favour.

Again I hope this helps.

  • InnerPeace
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09 Oct 12 #360090 by InnerPeace
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Thanks Yummy Mummy.

Yes undertaking has been signed by the court, child matters hearing is on Nov 7, but all my communiaction to him and his solicitor is via "Without Prejudice" letters.

Undertaking is till March 5 2013
until further application or further order.


One of the terms of undertaking is that we cannot contact each other except for matters related to our child. Before contacting him, i contacted his solicitor to take his agreement as I want to be double sure, since he can again create stories.

1. Shall I just send my communications to him without the "without prejudice" wording? if needed I can show in court that I initiated it and want matters to solve amicably.

  • soulruler
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09 Oct 12 #360102 by soulruler
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I am not sure what to say other than I do not agree ( I am a victim of severe emotional dv so maybe I am biased).

  • loveourmum
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09 Oct 12 #360105 by loveourmum
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With all due respect, children will always miss the parent who "is not there!"

This is only natural however look further than the surface - why is the NRP not there?

Domestic Violence does not go away overnight - with a visit?

Nothing smoothes over once you are in court - sorry to sound harsh but your ulitmate responsibility lies with the safety of both your child/ren and yourself not your responsibility in ensuring that your ex has contact with the child/ren.

Best wishes

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