CONTACT ORDER

I split from my ex 12 months since, initially he saw the children occasionally but it always ended in tears.

They have spent one night at his house and refused to go again. He was sending emotional messages to them which they clearly found upsetting and so requested the police to stop him. My children are 14 and 12. I have never wanted to stop contact between them and have even arranged family meals to try to make things easier but they refuse now to see him at all, which frustrates me.i love my children dearly but my ex now has a carefree life with no responsibilities and i have them 24/7.

My ex has now applied for an contact order alleging that i am emotionally and psychologically abusing our children. We now have to go to court but i do not ­object­ to the children having contact with their father they do... Will the court take their point into consideration even though they will not be present?

Edited by CM to remove block capital text

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH shouty caps stuck on???

OK, so let him do the court route, if your kids are old enough their voice will be heard. Either that or CAFCASS.
I wouldnt worry too much, just make sure you have a chronological diary of when they have seen him, he cant improve much on that.

Just read how old your kids are, they can def be heard, certainly the 14 yr old one.


GeT tHe CaPs OFF

Thank you.
I have prepared as much as I can or so I think but I know how manipulative my ex can be and he will no doubt lie. I have proof of everything, including police reports, text messages, notes in diary, school reports but it still scares me that the Judge will feel sorry for him and make them see it which in my opinion would destroy any chance of any future good relationship with them. I guess I''ll just have to wait and see:unsure:

Welcome to Wikivorce.

What was the relationship between father and children like prior to the separation?

Have either of you proposed a contact plan?

What reasons do the children give for not wanting to see their father?

Given the ages of the children, it is probable (but not a certainty) that the children will be given an opportunity to express their views to court, most likely via a CAFCASS report.

thank you for the response.
Sad to say the relationship was not that good, particularly with him and my daughter.
We have been to mediation and for a few months I allowed him to come to the house to see them as they were refusing to go anywhere with him. This caused a lot of problems with my daughter who felt I was ignoring her feelings, she stayed in her bedroom the whole time. My son would tolerate him. Initially when they did spend time with him he would spend most of that time on the phone to his "girlfriends" which caused a lot of problems for my son.
I have put myself in very uncomfortable positions and basically forced them to see him, sadly i think that may have made the situation worse.
My husband was very heavy handed with the children. They both say he is selfish and the only reason he wants to see them is to upset me which I do not believe because I would not be upset. I have made it clear to them that at any time I will contact hi for them. I agreed for them to meet with family friends as a "mediator" and i would stay out of it and agree to whatever plan they decided but the children refused.
they are adamant they do not want ANY contact.