A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Maintenance + Child Care

  • msjunior
  • msjunior's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
19 Jul 12 #344182 by msjunior
Topic started by msjunior

I have two children - one in nursery/childmonder and one in primary.

We have come to an arrangement whereby I pay an amount to my ex according to the CSA calculator (360 per month). I also pay 50% of childcare costs, which include morning drop offs, 3 days at nursery, 2 days looked after at home plus picking older one up from school.

I am just wondering if this in reasonable?

Ex gets her child benefit for the two, plus Tax Credits. I collect from childminder / school / nursery 2-3 days per week, plus has access to them one day a fortnight. Also arrangements during holidays are pretty fluid, with plenty of time for access (we are both teachers).

Is 50% of childcare costs AND 360/month a reasonable amount, or am I overpaying (or just being generous)?

Cheers for any advice and /or experiences!

  • positive99
  • positive99's Avatar
  • Elite Member
  • Elite Member
19 Jul 12 #344187 by positive99
Reply from positive99

I suspect some will say that you are paying more than you are legally obliged to.

Some ma also say that working tax credits take into account childcare costs and in some instances cover upto 70% of these costs.

However in my opinion I think it is a great thing that you are doing. You are both responsible for your children and therefore I feel should be responsible for the financial costs of child care.

If you were to stop paying the child care, it may leave your ex wife at a financial disadvantage to you which would be very unfair.

It may well be that without your financial support your wife could not afford to continue with the job which she does.

Hopefully within 12mths your youngest should start primary full time and your childcare costs will be reduced.

  • msjunior
  • msjunior's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
19 Jul 12 #344188 by msjunior
Reply from msjunior
Thanks for the reply!

Never once when we separated did I ever think that I would not pay 50% of the childcare. That seems only fair.

I am just trying to get a handle on what is ''reasonable'' to pay. At the moment money for me is extremely tight. If I could reduce this amount just to get me back on my feet, and therefore being able to rent a decent place where the children can stay, I would suggest it, but want to be able to back this up with a solid reason / argument. But I don''t want to leave my ex in a financial quagmire. Although we are no longer together, I''m not going to drop them in it.

And I am not thinking that the money is being mis-used. Just need to understand what I ''morally'' should be paying

  • Lostboy67
  • Lostboy67's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
19 Jul 12 #344193 by Lostboy67
Reply from Lostboy67
If there is no court order to say otherwise then you are only obliged to pay the CSA rate, however some NRP''s pay more than this and equally some who could afford to pay more do not.
It sounds as if you are in a position where you can''t afford this generosity.
How reasonable is your ex? do you think that you would be able to have a constructive dialogue regarding this?
One thing I would say is don''t simply stop paying the extra, that is sure to cause conflict and upset, and if you do agree to reduce the extra do so over a few months so it doesn''t come as a shock reduction


  • Munchbunch
  • Munchbunch's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
19 Jul 12 #344215 by Munchbunch
Reply from Munchbunch
You are being generous, but by doing what you are doing you are helping them maintain the same nursery/childcare arrangements as before whoich might not be affordable otherwise.
If it''s difficult for you financially approach your ex, propose to perhaps reduce it a little.

  • Child Maintenance Options
  • Child Maintenance Options's Avatar
  • Moderator
  • Moderator
31 Jul 12 #346282 by Child Maintenance Options
Reply from Child Maintenance Options

Thanks for the post.

With regard to your child maintenance payments, if you have correctly used the child maintenance calculator, then this will take account of your income and any other relevant circumstances and give you an accurate figure of what you need to pay.

Again, if you have input all your information accurately and correctly this will reflect the full amount of your legal obligation is respect of child maintenance.

If you choose to pay nursery fees in addition to this amount, then this is a voluntary payment you can decide have decided to make for the benefit of your children, in addition to your legal responsibility to pay child maintenance .

  • u6c00
  • u6c00's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
31 Jul 12 #346303 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
I think you''re being very generous with excellent motivation for doing so. Good for you.

Is your ex working more than 24 hours per week? If she is then it is likely that she can claim the childcare portion of working tax credits. As positive99 said, they can pay up to 70% of childcare.

It may be worth you suggesting that she make an application for this and you pay the remaining 30%, that reduces your payments for the moment, and your ex would not have to pay 50% out of her own pocket, which means more money for the children.

Of course tax credits maybe already paying for a proportion of the childcare so you may need to discuss this with her.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11