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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


CSA v voluntary arrangement

  • busy bee
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14 Sep 12 #355904 by busy bee
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Afternoon All

Hope you can answer a question for me please as my partner is going through a divorce and will be sorting out child maintenance shortly.

He is currently paying a voluntary amount which is based on (and more than) the CSA calculation but his ex keeps demanding more money at short notice from him to cover half of all school trips, uniform, club fees, etc etc etc.

He is trying to figure out that if he went through the CSA and formalised it all, is the figure that they decide on to cover everything mentioned above? Is it a full and final figure?

My partner is happy to pay his way and fully accepts the responsibility but he is getting frustrated with the demands for extra money from his ex. The problem is that she will agree to the trips etc and then demand the money, without consulting him in the first place and without considering his opinion. It is once more a control thing and he is looking at options to protect himself to a degree. He will gladly pay for things that are apropriate but it won''t be long before his children are old enough to drive etc and then he will get demands for car, insurance, tax etc etc - it will just keep going on and escalating!

Please don''t think he is trying to dodge responsibilities but there has to be a limit as he has his own house to run and bills to pay and he has his children 3 nights a week too.

Thanks for your help - look forward to your comments...

  • minxy1912
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14 Sep 12 #355909 by minxy1912
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he can calculate how much he should give on here for the CSA.
Once he has payed that he dost have to give her anything else.
If he wants to give more maybe he could surgest that he buys coats and shoes for school, and 1 school trip a year,then she asks for nothing else.
I think that''s more than fair.
Minxy

  • busy bee
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14 Sep 12 #355912 by busy bee
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Hi Minxy
That was what I thought that the CSA amount covers everything - everyone needs to know how much they have to pay in order to be able to budget - he has just paid the best part of £500 to his ex today following a letter this morning demanding it!

  • Child Maintenance Options
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17 Sep 12 #356295 by Child Maintenance Options
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Hello

Thanks for your email. If your partner and his ex-wife can reach an agreement, then they can decide between themselves how much child maintenance to pay, and even what counts as child maintenance. For example, they could agree that his contribution towards school trips and paying for school uniforms counts as child maintenance for their children. This is called a family-based arrangement, and many separated parents find that this type of arrangement is the easiest and most flexible way to sort out child maintenance.

In terms of monetary amounts, your partner can get an idea what his child maintenance payments would be through the CSA using the Child Maintenance Options calculator. He could also use this amount as a starting point for his family-based arrangement. If a case was set-up with the CSA the non-resident parent would only be expected to pay the figure given by the CSA.

I know it can sometimes be really hard to talk to the other parent about money, but if your partner would like to discuss his options, there is help available from the child maintenance Options Service. He can find tips and support at www.cmoptions.org, or he can speak to someone in confidence by calling 0800 988 0988.

Sarah
child maintenance Options

  • retep69
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18 Sep 12 #356568 by retep69
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This sounds very familar!

I pay an additional voluntary amount on top of "regular2 child maintenance and was getting similar requests from my ex, despite already paying her a lot more more than the CSA demands.

I eventually just said "no" to more.She wasn`t happy but there are simply limits to what I can afford.

In retrospect both of us should have more clearly defined what counted as extras.

I`m now getting it included in the Consent Order, so it`s no longer a grey area.

  • kezza1
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19 Sep 12 #356703 by kezza1
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Hi, my partner has a now 7 year old daughter with his ex, when we first got together he was paying her £90 a week out of his £200 wage, yet the mother never thought this was enough, when he moved in with me u calculated how much he should be paying and its a lot less, so now he''s paying that as like u I agree he should pay for his daughter but not leave himself short as it ended with me paying out aswell, the mothers not happy even though its still more than the estimate, yet she''s going on holidays abroad 3 times a year, we can''t afford 1, getting an extension on her house etc,

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21 Sep 12 #357167 by Child Maintenance Options
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Hi thanks for your post on child maintenance. Child Maintenance Options is a separate organisation from the CSA. I’m sorry but we can''t look into individual cases here. If your partner would like to contact the CSA then I am sure they will be happy to look into his payments. You can find contact details on any letter the CSA have sent to you. Or, you can find the right number here: www2.dwp.gov.uk/csa/v2/en/contact/index.asp

For more information about child maintenance and to access our useful tools and forms online you can visit www.cmoptions.org, or if you''d prefer a confidential chat you could call the child maintenance Options team on 0800 988 0988 (free from a landline).

Thanks

Dan
child maintenance Options

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