Maintenance Dilema

Hi there, I was divorced last December and there has been a Consent Order in place since then. I currently pay £500 a month, reducing to £330 a month from April onwards. I have a 5 year old boy who stays with me 5/14 nights.

I agreed to give her extra money for the first two years (I was paying the 500 for the year while the divorce was going on)so she could stabilise and keep the house she lives in with our son.

In this time I have scrimped by and made additional payments for school items like uniform, paid for swimming clubs etc as well.

If I run the CSA calculator because I''ve had him for nearly 140 nights in this last year (holidays and normal nights) I should be paying nearer £250 a month. I could really do with this money so I can start trying to live a normal life again, and repay the debt I have from my divorce.

The question is, do I invoke the CSA in April knowing they will reduce it, whereas sticking with the £330 is what she is expecting, and will have no doubt budgeted for.

If I invoke the CSA I know they want to encourage family agreements, which is difficult as she is so hostile towards me and we cannot communicate. If I don''t invoke the CSA I''d just have to pay the £330 the consent order currently says, but I know that is more than the CSA calc says.

I could just offer her £330 all in and pay zero on top, uniforms etc... but that means communicating and she will throw her toys out of the pram and say I am going back on my word (consent order) etc...

Quite the dilema, and not sure what to do for the best??? Any help would be welcome!

Thanks

The consent order was time limited, by the sounds of it so she has that time to rebuild her life and increase her earning potential.

Did she give up something in order to get extraa child support such as SM?


Was anything else ordered on the consent order, and if so have you both complied with it?

I have a similar order myself, although the ink is still wet from the stamp ordering my STX to pay a higher rater of child support until the pension is split as he receives a benefit from it and I dont.

No I agreed to the higher amount to help her with bills and amend her work hours, which she has now done and works 4 days a week instead of 3. Nothing else was on the consent order other than the payments change to £330 in April 2013. However, nothing mentioned on if my wage increases/decreases etc... So at some point I''m guessing she would have to have it changed if my wage increases.

So I pay extra for things on top of this. The problem I have is that I don''t have a contact order in place, so we agree holidays (with extreme difficulties!)between us. If I cut back the money I can see her cutting back the days I have him as she''ll say she can''t afford it. Getting a contact order =6-12k in court costs and solicitors, so its not really an option.

However, I think I have and will still pay a good amount, so it''s just thinking about my next move, and in April I am surely goign to have to invoke CSA so I''m not in breach of my consent order??

You will need to continue to pay the £330 from April, unless one or other of you apply to the CSA. As long as you continue to pay you would not be in breach of the Court Order.


I obviously don''t know your financial situation but £330 per month is around £11 per day. This won''t go far towards providing a warm home, food, and clothing your son, plus all the endless extras! school trips, clubs, etc etc. You may need to cut back on the extras you buy and pay for if you cannot afford them, may be best to give her plenty of advance warning that this is what will happen.

maisymoos wrote:

You will need to continue to pay the £330 from April, unless one or other of you apply to the CSA. As long as you continue to pay you would not be in breach of the Court Order.


I obviously don''t know your financial situation but £330 per month is around £11 per day. This won''t go far towards providing a warm home, food, and clothing your son, plus all the endless extras! school trips, clubs, etc etc. You may need to cut back on the extras you buy and pay for if you cannot afford them, may be bestto give her plenty of advance warning that this is whhat will happen.

The £11 a day, the CSA calculator would insist I pay £242, £8 a day. If they deem that to be sufficient with everything taken into consideration, why would that be difficult to clothe/feed a child? Plus I''d consider her to be contributing a similar amount to his upbringing, so the £20 a day is easily met with both my maintenance and her money as well.

Giving her early warning lets her withhold holiday days at xmas/half term as leverage, so I cannot see this is within my best interests, but despite her hatred towards me her constant hassle and being awkward for the sake of it, there is a moral dilemma as well.

The CSA figure is a legal minimum that has to be paid. I don''t think they state anywhere that this is necessarily enough to cover a childs needs. I think it is really better to look at it from affordability point of view, buying extras (if you can afford it) at least gives you control over what the money is spent on.

It would be very wrong for her to try and change contact arrangements for financial gain. If this is a real concern it may really be worth securing a contact order.

I realise it would be wrong for her to change arrangements due to money, but this is what she is likely to do, under the guise of "well she can''t afford it". I have debt and so our disposable income at the end of the month would probably be pretty similar, but she would say "that''s your problem, you need to pay for your son".

I can take one path and take care of myself, or give her early warning and risk losing time with my son and months of hassle.

In order to change the £330 a month I''d have to invoke the CSA, and with them adopting a new "we''re encouraging you to talk to each other more and not let the CSA sort it" how can I get around that???