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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Ex asking for school extra expenses of laptop,school lunch etc though paying CMS

  • caringfather
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09 Sep 21 - 09 Sep 21 #517686 by caringfather
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Hi All,

I currently have 143 days overnight care in a year for my child. i.e 40% access. I pay child maintenance regularly as per CMS calculation. Now my ex-wife is asking for me to pay additional school expenses like school lunch for the days when I drop my daughter at school in the morning. She is also demanding more school expenses like school laptop expenses, school trips, etc.

Can someone please help that should I be legally paying all these expenses like school laptop expense, school trips and school lunches mentioned above or it is covered in CMS monthly maintenance?

Thanks in advance for your help.
Last edit: 09 Sep 21 by caringfather.

  • WYSPECIAL
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10 Sep 21 #517687 by WYSPECIAL
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Legally you have to pay the CMS amount.

Anything else is up to you.

You may find though that the more you pay the more that will be demanded, whatever you pay won’t be enough.

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10 Sep 21 #517688 by caringfather
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Thank you for the quick response. She is arguing that as my daughter lives with me 143 days so I have to pay school lunches for these 143 days she goes to school with me. Is this not considered in monthly child maintenance I pay to her and shouldn't she be paying this?

Also for laptop, school trips etc she says that they are one off cost and not included in the child maintenance I pay to her. Is it legal for her to ask all these?

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10 Sep 21 #517689 by rubytuesday
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There's no law that prevents her from asking.

child maintenance is about providing help with a child's everyday living costs, which would include school lunches, extra curricular activities, etc.

Is your ex able to easily afford the additional larger expenses like the laptop and school trips? If not, it may be worth thinking about coming to an agreement over sharing those specific additional costs as after all, it will be your child that benefits. Are you able to provide a packed lunch for your daughter on the days she is with you instead of paying for school dinners?

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10 Sep 21 - 10 Sep 21 #517690 by caringfather
Reply from caringfather
Thank you for the response.

Her mum is earning very well. 80% of what I earn. She can easily afford the school trips which costs around 150£ once in 6 months or a year. Every month I am paying big amount of maintenance and I am sure that is not needed for my young age daughter going to school. She can easily afford paying for the every day lunch at school even for my days of school drops with the big amount she gets from me every month. I am sure her mum is saving 2/3rd of the amount out of the total amount I pay for the monthly CMS maintenance.

Can I legally ask her to pay the school lunches money for the school days when I drop my daughter to school ?
Last edit: 10 Sep 21 by caringfather.

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10 Sep 21 #517691 by rubytuesday
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You don't need to ask her. Just tell her the CM is a contribution to all the everyday living costs, Inc school lunches, school trips, clubs, school uniform Etc; and that as you are paying the (or more than) the statutory amount based on the CMS calculation you arent obliged to pay over and above that amount.

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10 Sep 21 - 10 Sep 21 #517692 by caringfather
Reply from caringfather
Thank you very much for the quick response. Really appreciate it. I will mention to her that the CMS money I pay to her (mum) should include the school lunches for the days even when I drop her to school and I cannot pay over and above the monthly CMS maintenance i.e her mum, has to pay for the full year for the school lunches and not me.
I do take care of all the expenses of my daughter like her school uniform, living expenses - clothes, toys, food, etc as my daughter needs them when she lives with me for 143 days in a year. I always ensure that she gets best for all these days when she lives with me. As a father I always want my daughter to get best of life. Infact I am seeing her mum is not even spending 1/3rd of what I pay (monthly CMS) and that saddens me.
Last edit: 10 Sep 21 by caringfather.

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