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Do I wait until Daughter starts school??

  • madaboutcars
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23 Jan 08 #11586 by madaboutcars
Topic started by madaboutcars
x2b returned Statement of Arrangements for Children not agreeing to my request of additional contact. Bit of background... daughter is 3 and has been in full time nursery since she was 1, had to go to court to get access, see daughter every wednesday evening (drop home by 7pm), every other monday evening (same drop of time) and every other weekend for overnight contact(friday pm to Saturday pm).
I asked for the Sunday to be included on my weekends that i have daughter but getting her home by 4pm as aware of school the next day, and i also requested that in September 08, when daughter starts school, i would like 5 weeks out of the yearly school holidays (kids have 13 weeks holiday in all!!)
Daughter is still at fulltime nursery and will be going to private school where after the school day, children are still looked after till 6pm.
If i take this to court as x2b will NEVER agree above without me having to do so, will judge see that x2b is just being akward, as from an email from x2b says "I strongly feel that any changes now will be unnecessary as contact will need to be reviewed when R starts school in September 2008.
I would like to get this sorted now, ready for September 2008 and cant afford the judge to agree with x2b and have to wait until then.
Any comments please

  • Fiona
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23 Jan 08 #11644 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Umm.. With your D only being 3 it might be viewed in her best interest not to away from the main carer on a regular basis for more than one overnight consecutive night. How near 4 is she and is she generally fairly confident and self-assured?

I think you do have a good point and it wouldn't be desirable to change the contact regime at the same time she starts school.

Court is never a good place to sort out child related issues if it can be possibly be avoided because the process can leave people feeling resentful and resistant. Apart from anything else you can't run to the courts to resolve every issue and it's a good idea to find away of dealing with problems. Have you considered involving a third party in mediation or negotiation?

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24 Jan 08 #11811 by madaboutcars
Reply from madaboutcars
Thanks for your reply Fiona.

We have been down the mediation and 3rd party involvement road, but to no avail. CAFCASS have also been involved but x2b kicked off infront of CASCASS and then x2b contacted me and agreed my requested contact untill last minute and by then i had agreed not to have the CAFCASS report present in court. My x2b refuses to talk to me on the phone and never comes to the door when i collect/drop off our daughter, she just will not communicate with me apart from the very odd occasion.
My x2b suffers from Bi-polar (but not on medication), and she uses my Daughter as power over me.
I can see your point about the full weekend overnight access but my Daughter is very intelligent/grown up for her age so im sure she would adapt as she has been through so much in her short life, her parents splitting, both getting new partners, moving house 3 times, recently changing nursery, and a new baby brother!!!!!!!!!!!This is what makes me laugh as all the above has been bought on by x2b, She has coped with all that so well. I really dont know what to do for the best :(

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25 Jan 08 #11849 by Fiona
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I was really thinking that Courts might be unwilling to award more than one consecutive overnight for a 3 year old and there might be more chance of your application being successful waiting a few months. It can be quite useful in these situations having a solicitor with knowledge of local courts and their idiosyncrasies.

Still, 3 is borderline, and if she's confident and coping well it possibly won't make any difference, especially if her 4th birthday is on the horizon. There is no one arrangement suitable for all families and each case is viewed on it's own merits.

It can be very difficult dealing with someone diagnosed with bipolarism. Would your ex not even negotiate through lawyers?

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