court order

Hi would be grateful for any advice. My ex got a cout order rushed thru giving him contact fri - sun every other week. I had less than 24 hours notice and due to childcare problems could not attend. This was in Dec and I have stuck to it. However the children and I go to a lone parent group and the children want to go this friday(last one b4 holidays, party etc. Due to my ex's attitude towards me I knew if I asked to drop them off later he would say no. The children said they would ask him when he phoned, he said 'no it's my time your mother gets you loads'. My youngest was pleading and crying with him but he just refused to budge. I was so upset and guilty that the children are in this position that I phoned ex. He was abusive saying it's what u want not the children'. I am tempted to just write and say the children will be going later but oviously anxious about contact order. Due to his lack of compromise contact is still going thru court and we are waiting for Cafcass. At last hearing judge said it was disgusting that an order was rushed thru without me in attendance. Do u think it is reasonable for children to go a few hours later if that is what they want. They are 10 and 11.
thanks in advance.

Hi Sueki,

It does seem somewhat unreasonable to not be allowed to drop the children off slightly later just this once.

He's right that it is "his" time with them, but surely if they would prefer to go with you then you would expect him to understand.

You could play it one of two ways:

1)You abandon your own plans, and drop off the children as normal and miss out on the group meeting.

2)You stick to your own plans, as you have provided notice and requested a later drop off time, and do just that.

At the worst he could have you back in court for breaching the contact order, but realsiticly ...would he do this and would it be treated as such a big deal in court if he did?
Its not like you're taking the kids to Tasmania for 6 months without so much as word to him is it?

Do you think there ever will be/has been an occassion where he has been unable to stick to the contact arrangements for some other unpredicted event clashing with the order?

I have a contact order in place wth my ex, and there are times when he or I cannot stick rigidly to the dates/times set out but we BOTH have to give and take as its not about us its about the kids and life can be unpredictable, we all know that.
The general rule we both stick to is that if there is an event/party/night out that we as adults would like to attend, that we arrange this wherever possible on the weekend that we do not have the kids in order that we do not interfere with contact.