She Suddenly stopped contact

Been separated for 4 months and Decree Absolute was last week. My wife had agreed through the solicitors that i was to have alternate weekends with the kids and once during the week. All of a sudden she has stopped and as summer hols are coming up looks like she wont allow for the week im suppose to have them as already arranged. Kids are 4 and a half and 3. Im a training to be a hospital surgeon. Letters are being faxed to her solicitos to ask for an explanation. It was all quite amicable until that sunday night a week ago when she went mad at me when i dropped the kids off asking for an explanantion for me leaving when she is the one issueing the divorce.

Just wanted to know how quickly can an interim order for contact be issued and how long does a proper contact order take place.

We have very active weekends when the kids are with me - hate going back to my wifes when i return them - so they must be going through hell as dad hasnt seen or spoken to the for over a week.

Anybody have any suggestions.
PS. i still maintain my family financially and she lives in my house and im looking for a place - im at my parents at the moment.

Anybody got any suggestions

Hi ,
Could your ex not just be taking it out on you to let of steam since the papers have started to arrive?
Its something some of us do without realising the cost to the children.
I actually signed on to have a scream about my ex. he doin the opposite.
If she keeps it up would you consider mediation a lot less costly and a little bit more friendly when things arent to bad at the moment than court. Dont let the finacial side mix with the contact please try to keep it seperate it can damage more than you think.
These issues must be treated seperatly believe me it is not pleasant when contact and finacial sides mingle.
Be a little patient and see if it is not the papers that have triggered this situation off.
Good luck

Strange as it may seem I think some 'everyday' parents feel quite insecure about their position when the other parent has the 'fun' time alternate weekends and need some reassurance they aren't loosing the children emotionally.

Often a polite sol letter stating that a meaningful relationship with you is in your children's welfare so regular contact needs to reinstated and offering mediation is all that's required. Also say you look forward to a reply with in the next 7 days so if there's no reply you can write again seeking an amicable resolution, but this time say if you don't get an answer by return you will apply for a contact order.

If you have tickets to go away an emergency hearing can take place within a couple of days.

Thank you both for your sincere advise. A polite letter went to her last monday and as we have had no response he faxed another one yesterday morning. I have my first mediation meeting next week where finance was to be discussed only as contact had been amicably agreed already. So i suppose if we get no response from her then ill bring it up during my first mediation meeting. (We could not agree on the same date for our first mediation meeting and she has had her first meeting already). As i am a hospital doctor my consultancy training requires me to change posts every 6 months which is happening on the 1st of august which is why if i miss the first week of the summer hols as already arranged its difficult to get annual leave on such short notice in a new hospital (operating lists have to be cancelled, etc). But i suppose she knows this but doesnt concern her. We'll she how the next couple of weeks spans out.

Hi there,

One thing that strikes me from your post is that you say the decree absolute is through, but you are attending mediation for sorting the finances? Surely your divorce has not been made absolute without the settling of finances?

Has your solicitor suggested applying to the courts for contact arrangements?

Instead of posting a solicitors letter, you could always post her a clipping of the article today in the guardian newspaper regarding mothers who do not allow contact? Not so polite, however politeness does not seem to be on her agenda at the moment does it

I hope things do improve for you very soon, and as you are receiving legal advice, hopefully your solicitor will be able to resolve this for you.

my solicitors next step was applying to the courts. what was the title of that article in the guardian by the way - i looked on the internet but could not find it. Decree absolute application was to be made by herself last week and acknowledgement of that was what we were waiting for. Financial side of things do not seem to have put a halt to things.

What kills me the most is that i normally spoke to my 4 and half old daughter every other day and she would always ask me as a reminder what day i would be picking her up. She has learned fairly rapidly the days of the week as a consequence - i have not tried ringing her over the last 10 days as for a start her mother wont probably let me talk to her and secondly if she does my daughter will ask me when i was picking her up - a reply to that would be somewhat heart sinking.

Lets see how things pan out over the next week or two.

Is your solicitor happy with absolute without finances sorted or more to the point is hers? This could be the reason why she has not applied for the absolute.

I would still ring to speak to your daughter as you normally would, continue with your effort and persistence. If she asks when she is seeing you, just tell her soon as you can and that you really want to and miss her so much.

The guardian article is on the home page of the wikivorce site in the news section, it really is good news for dads.

Maybe your solicitor needs to up the game a bit and start with the contact arrangements sooner than later, as this could prove to take longer than you would like.

Good luck