i am not the one that disagrees with her having contact in fact i have said she can see him whenever she wants, but she would be best just to check we are in before setting off as she has 2 buses to catch and over an hours journey to get here. it is my son that is reluctant not at having contact but at the times she is demanding and when he has tried to talk to her about this she will not listen and demands things have to be done the way she wants. also overnights would not be practrical as she is in a one bedroom flat with her new partner and thus as nowhere for our son to sleep. as for the courts would there demand he has to give up his interests of several years standing to suit what she wants or would there listen to him.
he understands his mum had very little time for him before she left, also she kept arranging to come to see him then didn't turn up and did not let him know so he was sat waiting for her after he had turned down invitations from his friends. His activities have been a part of his live for about 4 years now, surely he has had enough disruption with his mum abandoning him without having to change the rest of his life and miss out on his favourite pastimes as well. for her to take him to his activities it would mean her setting off at about 6 am. also he has said he will go with her but at times when it doesn't affect his routine.
during the week at school terms is not practical as she lives such a distance away and she works evenings, so considering he needs his sleep for school there is no time there. at weekends she has suggested 10 till 6 but he does his football 10 till 11.30 so he suggested 12 till this would let him do his football and then get changed, he also suggested she could go watch him at football, but she will not have this at all and said he must stop his football altogether and do what she wants, he then suggested sundays but she does not want this as she will be spending it with her new partner and wants a lie in. as you can see he has tried to accomadate her with suggestions but she will not budge at all. it was also suggested she could spend some full days in school hollidays instead of the half days she said but she has refused solely on the grounds of that is not what she wants and it has to be what she says or else she will go to court and get it
mark your son is being more than reasonable, your ex deserted him, now she wants him to give up his favorite activity because she won't see him on a sunday. She uses the courts as a threat to you & your son, she sounds like a selfish bully to me. Common sense should prevail in this case.
I would always work around my contact if it meant that my son or daughter could carry on enjoying an activity.
Fiona your comparison about school & Football on saturdays is utter crap, school is mandatory, football is a weekend activity with his freinds, football with his freinds has probably helped him to get over his parents split.
Its all very well to say that your husband had a second chance to be a good dad, but can't you see that marks ex is going the wrong route by dictating her terms & making threats when she was the deserter?
And they say children are the most important in divorce.