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can she set contact

  • markp
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29 Aug 07 #2601 by markp
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maybe i have not been to clear about this as fiona seems to think i want to limit his mums involvement in his life i do not, i've tried to encourage her involvement but to set it around my sons activies as he has had more then enough unsettlement due to his mum leaving him, at the moment she is setting her terms around her new partners needs and not her sons also it is my firm believe that once the money side is settled she will disappear from his life leaving it to late for him to get back into his activies. the reason i believe this is because when she comes at the moment she pays him no attension and just spends her time telling me what her sol says she will get out of me and asking for things from the mh to furnish her new home, also when she left she took some cd's blonging to our son and when he has asked for them back she says no she wants them.

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29 Aug 07 #2602 by Fiona
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29 Aug 07 #2605 by Monster
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Thanks Fiona, the CAFCASS Parenting plan seems to fit the bill. I will show it to my soon to be ex and hopefully she will understand that my requests are reasonable (well i hope they are... Does three nights in eight seem reasonable her five then me three on a rolling day so that we both get the advantages?

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30 Aug 07 #2628 by Fiona
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30 Aug 07 #2630 by Monster
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Once again thanks Fiona:) We're going to mediation next month so hopefully that will have an influence on both of us and what we decide. what i don't want; is to be a weekend dad. I am lucky that i can change my work pattern to suit what ever arrangements but thanks for your advice. :)

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01 Sep 07 #2736 by markp
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got a letter from my x2b's sol stating what contact she wants and saying she will make sure our son does not have contact with her new partner in line with our sons wishes. she then phoned to make arrangements to take him out so he told her in 2 weeks she said ok but he has to meet her new partner, our son said no he does not want to and her sol letter says he does not,also her new partner was shouting abusive things about me in background when their was on phone and our son was upset at what he heard, she says he has no choice and has to because thats what she wants, now our son does not want to go and she is blaming me. can she make him meet her new partner or can we do something to stop it.

i have also recieved her divorce petition full of lies about my unreasonable behaviour, when the real reason she left was to move in with new partner. she has indicted on the statement of arrangements for kids that she does not want custody but contact one day a week and three afternoons in summer.

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01 Sep 07 #2738 by dragonfly
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Dear Markp,
What does your son wants? She may be his mother, she still needs to earn the right to see him. I was in the similar situation a few years ago. You cannot imagine the stress I went through. I tried to do the right thing and respect the wishes of the X but I end up not doing what I was suppose to do and that is to hear what the children were saying. Our sons at the time (age 10 & 8) did not want to stay with their father and the law at the time was issuing the rights of divorced fathers. There was the incident of a father in the media hanging/climbing tall buildings ( tower Bridge) to protest about father's right at the same time my case was in court. I end up sacking my sol and transfer to another sol with children panel. Caffass officer was involve. I supported our children all the way and they see their father whenever they wish to see him. I told the Judge that I will not force the children against their wishes but will facilitate the visits whenever the children are happy to see their father. I took me 2 years to get the massage through to the courts with a solicitor that shows some empathy to my case. The children are now 15 and 13 and they see their father whenever they wish. Two days ago, the 15 year old caught the bus and went by himself. I hope my experience could give you some idea of what you need to do for your son. good luck.

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