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10 Sep 07 #3109 by IKNOWNOW
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Hi Mark

I know where you are coming from. Could I suggest that you try and find a child & young persons advocay service that may be able to help your son through this without the shadow of the "biased parent". I believe you have his best interests at heart but the courts don't always see it this way. Even if it doesn't get to court they may be able to help your son vent his frustrations and also be an independent view on the situation. There are links to child advocacy on parentplus or oneparentfamilies websites I think. If you can't find them I will try and message you the info.

Stay positive.

Sarah

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11 Sep 07 #3154 by Fiona
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11 Sep 07 #3201 by markp
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hi fiona
i get the impression that you think this is all my doing, it is not it is our son that does not want to meet him and it is due to his mum saying that her new bloke is smoking spills and her that has said he has a drink problem, it may be she is telling lies about him but why, also her daudhter says he his theatening and violent when he's had a drink and this has been confirmed by my mother in law. all this has been said in front of our son, so theres no wonder he does not want to meet this bloke, also you say i should run about afterher to have contact but she works monday to friday evenings less then 5 minutes walk from our house and can not be bothered to come and see him, she says its because her new bloke accuses her of wanting to see me not our son, so i suggested that i go out and leave someone else here with him till she got here but she still will not come.
also i have not said any of the things on the list about my x2b, i have only stated what she has said about her new bloke. the only thing about her is when she tells our son she will see him at a set time and does not turn up or let him know untill he contacts her and then she makes some silly excuse.

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11 Sep 07 #3221 by IKNOWNOW
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Hi Mark, this seems to be ongoing between you, me & Fiona. I'm with you! There's another thread where a woman has a 6 month old baby and her x2b is a drug addict amongst other things and he wants unsupervised access. How can anyone in there right mind think this is in the child's best interest whether they are 6 months or 10 years. I would want supervised access with myself or through a contact centre - nothing else would do - how can you have a meaningful relationship with a person like that?

Back to your situation - as I have always said you are his dad & you have got to do what you think is in his best interests, but just document everything like I have said. My husband said he couldn't see the children this weekend & I presumed he was working overtime - what was he doing? FISHING! Different priorities.

You sound like you are doing your best, what else can you do?

Regards, Sarah

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11 Sep 07 #3225 by markp
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thanks sarah
its nice to hear from some one that understands, as i said and fiona doesn't seem to grasp whats been said, my son wants to see his mum and spend time with her but does not want to see her new bloke, i want him to be happy and if seeing her helps him come to terms with her walking out then so be it, but i;m worried if she forces him into some thing he does not want to do he will turn on her and refuse to go regardless of what the court says, and what punshiment can the court enforce on a 10 year old for wanting to feel safe.
As for advice about writing things down thanks for that, and i have, one visit she missed she tried to say she was poorly, but i told her she was seen in a local shop buying booze for her and new bloke, at first she denied it but when i told her who saw her she admitted it.

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12 Sep 07 #3229 by IKNOWNOW
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Hi, Mark

We need to remember that it is people we are dealing with and not a paper exercise as some people seem to believe. Yes the law is there but we must still be parents and do what we can to protect our children's interests. Surely judges are humans to or maybe they are like some on this site. If you can put your hand on your heart (and listen to the sane, unbiased part of your brain)and truly believe that what you are doing is for the sake of your son then anyone with an ounce of compasion can see you are doing it to protect your son. Try to get support from elsewhere to back you up - please try the advocacy service or children's legal service may be able to give you some advise. If you ring One PArent Families helpline they will give you the number for Children's Legal Service - they were really good when I rang them. Hope this helps.

Why not add me to your friends list.

Take care - keep smiling.

Sarah

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12 Sep 07 #3230 by Fiona
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