Hi
Currently separated (2 years on Wed) & starting divorce proceedings. Have some financial agreements re in place that my solicitor will be converting into a
Consent Order. This mainly covers the split of proceeds from the sale of the
FMH which should take place shortly.
My ex has also finally agreed that I can be called the Resident Parent and that our son will live with me but spend roughly 3 nights (one at weekend) per week with him. This was following consultation with our son (14) who said that he couldn''t have two homes and that he was happy with the arrangement that had developed over the last 2 years since his Dad moved out.
But he hasn''t yet agreed to the payment of any CM - or rather hasn''t agreed to pay it to me. He seems to want to pay it into a joint account so he can still have some control over how it is spent. I am arguing that whilst our son is with each of us we can decide how much money to spend on him but that the CM is to fund basic costs of providing a roof over his head, fuel costs and basic clothing and food needs. If we go with the CSA calculation (15 % of net income less 3/7 for 3 nights) I should get £43 per week and this would really help with my finances. In some respects I don''t agree with the loss of 3/7 as unless or untill ex changes his living/working arrangements our son will come back from school to mine and be there for 3-4 hours putting my central heating on, raiding my fridge for not just him but his mates as well etc etc before going round to his Dad''s later in the evening when he''s back from work. Next morning he comes via mine on his way to school and I''m the one that gets asked for dinner money etc.
How can I explain my need (& right?) to CM without impinging on my ex''s emotional need to want to still be seen to be involved in the care of our son and feeling that controlling this pot of money is the way to do it?
I don''t think ex is trying to get away without paying and I accept that he has always been involved with the care of our children but ultimately it probably has been and will be me that buys new socks and pants, school uniform, shampoo etc etc
I''m not averse to having a joint account to fund additional bigger things like birthday & christmas presents or school trips but feel that is a separate issue.
Any constructive help/comments appreciated.