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Feeling Desperate

  • confused38
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24 Jul 12 #345094 by confused38
Topic started by confused38
I have been separated for over 2 years and things have been generally amicable. I moved away and my ex lived next door from the FMH with his parents and we agreed to split the mortgage payments till the house sold. He started a new relationship and presented me with a fait accompli that he had moved into the FMH with his girlfriend and would be paying the mortgage. Since then he has refused to pay and child support, stating he can''t afford it but has also purchased an audi TT and is going on holiday to singapore. He has now also asked if he can now see the children only once a month because his gf shouts at me everytime we hand the kids over and they get upset and this is his answer. They are young, only 3 and 8 and I feel at a loss as to what I can do.
I have gone to the CSA but am aware it all takes time - his arguement is that his wages pay all the bills and mortgage and his girlfriends wages pay for the ''fun stuff''.
When the children go for visitation he works all day saturday and sunday and then they stay with his parents over night even though he is there. So all in all they have been seeing him for approx 3 hours every other weekend - which will now be reduced to 3 hours once a month.
Do I have any rights in regards to visitation as they are not actually staying with him during the day or night when they go to see him ?
Am I being unreasonable to expect some form of child support as he is paying the mortgage and living in the FMH ( I did say if it was a struggle even £50 a month would help but he refused ).
I am seeing a solicitor but not till august and would really appreciate some advice as I am feeling at my wits end.

  • bakerj
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24 Jul 12 #345097 by bakerj
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I am sorry that I cannot help much as I a newbie on these boards as well and am a novice to the legalities of support, etc.

However I felt I couldn''t read you post and not offer some sort of sympathy post. I really hope you get it sorted soon and that you get good advice and help from your solicitor.

  • rubytuesday
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24 Jul 12 #345099 by rubytuesday
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Welcome to Wikivorce.

Regarding child support - he has a legal (and a moral) obligation to provide financial support for the day-to-day costs of bringing up the children. The CSA wont be interested in what he currently pays out in terms of his own expenditure, they use a percentage of his income to base their calculations on, 15% for one child, 20% for two, and 25% for three or more.

Unless there is a child protection issue, then what he does (or doesnt do) and who the children spend time with during his parenting time is down to him. Children being able to spend time with their grandparents is seen as a positive,as with spending time with any other extended family member. If he chooses to not make full use of the time he has with his children, then more fool him.

  • jammin35
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01 Aug 12 #346740 by jammin35
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Screw him. Really.

The fact that he has taken on liabilities that he cannot afford is not your problem (or more specifically your kids).

What he is actually saying is "sorry kids, you have no shoes and no food because I need this silly car".

Pick the phone up right now and call them. Claims are backdated to when you file them.

If you are/were married and had gone to court I suspect it would have been him moving out of the house and not you and the kids.

It''s this kind of behaviour that gets those of us who do pay a bad name.

James.
Ps: If you are still reading this there better be a dial tone in your ear.

  • fairylandtime
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01 Aug 12 #346743 by fairylandtime
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Confused (((hugs)))

Others are right, get on that phone to the CSA, have rung them myself at one point (but ended up not needed) they were very helpful, & if you keep badgering them it can only be to your advantage :)

Think your x has to realise that you cannot just dump kids, he has to grow up & realise he has ...big word "responsibilities" he seems to have forgotten this. As for his contact reducing due to gf, that is so wrong, for a start for a partner to come between the parent & their children IMO! It will be to his detriment in the end.

Also ensure that you are getting all your benefits, CTC, WTC, etc etc.

Good luck JJx

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