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roseanne, unfortunately you cant force your ex to help your son, it is down to his morals and what he wants to do.
Its the same old story in that everyone parents differently and this becomes apparant when they split especially.
You might have the idea that your son should be helped or funded while he is at uni, his dad might not.
I have some friends whos kids are going to uni, but they have made it clear they are not lending them money, its up to them to borrow it and pay it off. Sounds unfair to me as, they both work, and by the way happily married, but thats how they view it.