Am divorced finally ex has been having the kids (girls9&6) every other weekend. but his interest in this contact, is on the wain, he can't really be bothered anymore, plus we verbally agreed two, one week holidays per year. Everytime i suggest a week for him to have them, he refuses as he sees it as helping me out. is there anyway i can get something written down, if he keeps refusing can i be the one to name the week, and tell him he is having them.
Unfortuatly you cannot force someone to have contact, NRp's can go to court as many times as they like a get a contact order in place , the pWC has to have the children avaliable at the times stated on the contact order.but as i say if someone really don't want contact there is nothing you can do, will be there loss in the end.
If you get really desperate you could always try withholding contact citing the upset the girls experience every time they get their hopes built up at seeing Daddy again and then him letting them down, refer to it as "emotional harm".
Then if he is serious about contact he would have to issue an Application for a contact Order. You could self-rep to keep costs down (plenty advice here to help) and explain to CAFCASS / District Judge your concerns about their emotional well-being, say you seek commitment on father's part so as to minimise harm to children.
Then a contact Order could be made, by consent is not a problem, but he gets embarrassed into complying with it. If he doesn't then you can take it back to Court and ask Court to discharge it. He will get the message soon enough. Worth a thought. You could even tell him you have been considering doing this, see what response it provokes. Good luck
Frustrating though it is, there is no compulsion for parents to have contact with their children. It's very tough when you are managing on your own. Do you have friends or relatives who are willing to help out?
One of my biggest beefs is the number of cases where the NRP pursues contact through the courts but never to takes it up, or only takes it up when it suits. In fact it has been suggested in Scottish parliamentary debate not binding both parties to contact orders is contrary to human rights legislation.