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Am I being unreasonable or is x2B?

  • Canary
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10 Oct 07 #4557 by Canary
Topic started by Canary
I have recently moved at and am trying to work out arrangements, temporarily at least for contact with my kids.
Last weekend she said the kids could not stay over night because I had a male friend (of 27 years!) also to stay as he was in town for an interview. She said it would be too unsettling for them. In the end I had to tell my mate he couldn't come and let him down (this was arranged months ago before she finished with me) otherwise I wouldn't have seen my kids (11 & 6)

i have been trying to have the kids over for tea during the week, but this week my work is choc-a-bloc with meetings. Yesterday my meeting for tomorrow was cancelled so I said I could have over for tea. X2B says can't have them over as only eldest can come because youngest has swimming lessons and will be upset if can't come.

When will I ever get to see my kids if things are this conditional? What do others think?

  • Fiona
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11 Oct 07 #4597 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
I think it's probably fair to say most people going through divorce think their estranged spouse is unreasonable at some point or other.

The trick is to hang on in there and establish a defined pattern of contact that works for everyone. Over time the chaos usually settles and then it's feasible to be less rigid.

Can you not commit one evening a week for contact? Expecting your ex to change arrangements at 48 hours notice to fit into your schedule is perhaps a tad optimistic. Also activities, homework etc shouldn't really be a bar to contact, they are all part of parenting.

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