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telling kids

  • Athene
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07 Jun 07 #642 by Athene
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It's not necessarily the other partner fuelling anatagonism. Kids react in their own way. One of my teenage kids finally agreed to meet my ex's new partner but didn't find it easy. The other refuses. It would obviously be better for the kids if they were able to accept everything calmly and have pleasant relationships all round and I've done my best to encourage this - but with limited success. I've said the nicest things I can about the new partner and have done my best not to be critical of my ex. I think it may just take quite a lot of time. It's not necessarily your ex's fault. Kids can have unrealistic dreams that their family will get back together again and are upset when they can't pretend there will be a "happy ever after" for the family as family. They want perfect parents and a divorce makes them face up to the fact that mum and dad are human.

  • Dockley
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07 Jun 07 #645 by Dockley
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Believe me Athene, my ex is fuelling the trouble with the kids. Her new man moved in with all 3 of them in June 06 after they met in May 06, the kids are both fine with this and see no issues wth their mum having a new b/f and I have always encouraged them with this as I have no problem with it either as he treats them well. They have real problems with my new circumstances because she has told them both that what I am doing is wrong etc, lying about anything and everything she can and really messing with their heads. I think its great that you have encouraged your kids to try to come to terms with things changing and been nice about the new partner, but i think that more often than not this does not happen. It is a difficult time enough for all concerned without any uneccesary pressure being placed on the kids to score points off the ex.
Obviously everyone knows what their own ex is like and also know their kids so can easily tell if there is any "minxing" going on.
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