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Help, custody of 3 yr old..No idea how it can work

  • tired79
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27 Oct 07 #5387 by tired79
Topic started by tired79
Hi, I’m new to this site and have been thinking about divorce for over a year now. I have a 3 year old daughter however and I’m scared of telling my husband I want a divorce, though I am sure he feels the same way.
I was hoping someone could give me some advice as I dont have anyone else to ask. My husband has a stable job working 8 – 5, I work abroad in the week most weeks and commute home at weekends. I would like to seperate amicably and have shared custody of my daughter. Has anyone else been through a similar experience with a child so young? How did you cope and how did you share custody of your children. I couldnt bare being away from her all week, and this is why I am leaving my job to work perm in UK.
I just have no idea where to start and how shared custody would work. I am hoping that as she is so young she will adjust easier than if she is a few years older. Please help, any advice will be greatly appreciated.

  • Camberwick green
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27 Oct 07 #5391 by Camberwick green
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Hi there,

As far as I am aware, custody doesn’t come into it, you are married so you have equal rights and responsiblities, but obviously how amicable it goes is down to the two of you.

If you can sit and talk with your Husband and discuss the fact that you feel you are not working out, whether or nor counselling could be a way forward and if not would you both be happy to do so amicably so there is less stress on you both and your child.

You should therefore be in a position to consider between the two of you how best to provide a stable upbringing for your Daughter, I think this is wise considering your career takes you away for the majority of the week.

An amicable split is good as it allows you both to have what you want or need out of the relationship as well as whats best for your child.

  • sexysadie
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28 Oct 07 #5395 by sexysadie
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Why don't you come back and try settling down here full-time for a while and see whether it helps your marriage? It may be that you having been away so much has caused some of the problems.

Also if your husband has been your daughter's main carer then if he wanted to fight for things continuing that way he would have a good chance, and reasonably so, as it would be more stable for her. If you are amicable about shared care (which certainly seems to work best when you are) then it won't matter, but if it comes to a fight you need to be able to show that you have a day to day relationship with your daughter.

Sadie

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