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Statement of Arrangements for children

  • Barks
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30 Oct 07 #5511 by Barks
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I have been asked to sign the above form and I agree with all that is on it with regards to the children at this point in time. However once divorced and I can (hopefully) get a place of my own I would like to negotiate improved terms of access (from one weekend in two and a couple of evenings a week to maybe one weekend in two plus 2/3 weekday sleepovers where I would do school run etc.). By signing the current agreement will it be legally binding or is it just for the courts to adjudicate whether a court order is required? Hope that makes sense?

  • Vail
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30 Oct 07 #5518 by Vail
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Barks,

My opinion is that Court orders for contact are a waste of time if your x won't abide by them, hence the birth of Fathers for Justice.

If you agree with it just agree with it and later agree with your x any variation that you can

  • Tinny
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30 Oct 07 #5522 by Tinny
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Barks
I think Vail has got it about right.

At the end of the day you need to be able to communicate with your Ex2b over the children despite any "statement" or "court order". If you can both agree easily then you should be able to negotiate contact that suits the children (remember they are the important ones here).

I have a court order which I'm sort of content with. Im not getting all of the contact agreed at the minute but that has a lot to do with Ex "allowing" the additional contact to happen. However my solicitor told me that I can take him back to court at a later date to agree additional contact. She even suggested that even the threat of it may make him more agreeable (doubt that).

So really it is down to you and your Ex2b. If you can agree it would be much better.

Good luck
Tinny

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30 Oct 07 #5537 by Barks
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Thanks for the help. Things pretty amicable at the moment so hopeful!

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30 Oct 07 #5539 by Sera
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...and of course, once you start a new life, build new home, kids might ask to come to dads more often....

...and when she moves on... (!) She might quite like a child-free zone to entertain in. She might like staying out late, she might get used to quiet nights in the bath, Sunday mornings with paper.... keep it amicable, and I'm sure all will be fine.

I co-parented my son after first divorce. After a few years, he naturally spent more time at his dads, (nothing personal, just dad built him a loft, en-suite, Playstations, gadgets, flight-sims etc; and I gave up trying to compete!) However, we remained close, have a brilliant relationship, he's now 18, and says he's closer to me emotionally, than he is his dad...not that it's competition. Even when you're not with the kids, they'll do well knowing they're still loved, and they haven't lost you!

Then one day, they're too busy with their own social lives, and you'll have to pester them to see them! Not pester the ex!

  • duncan McEnzie
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31 Oct 07 #5553 by duncan McEnzie
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I know we all love and miss our children but wonder if it does them any good having them almost living in two places at once. I have a dilema myself. My son says he wants to live with me, but i dont know if it would be good to split the children in this way. I love them all so much but am not sure if its the right thing to do.

  • sexysadie
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31 Oct 07 #5556 by sexysadie
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Some children find it fine and even like it; some don't. I think it helps if the two homes are close together so it's not difficult to see friends from wherever they happen to be. In my experience they like to have one base once they get properly into their teens, though - but then by that point they don't want to see either parent all that much, just to fester in their rooms!

Sadie

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