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Parenting Plan

  • Canary
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08 Nov 07 #6173 by Canary
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I saw and read the (Dfes?) Parenting plan and gave it to x2b suggesting this could be useful. She however does not wish to discuss it or write anything down and only wants to discuss things 'as and when they come up'.

Our problem in marriage was a lack of communication and clearly x2b doesn't want to discuss anything as this will raise our differences of opinion again.
Trouble is I feel I am not involved in my children's lives except for the brief Sat 10am to Sun 10am she allows me to see them (and 'occasional other times' but I don't know what occasional means)

Has anyone any experience of the parenting plan?

  • Vail
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08 Nov 07 #6175 by Vail
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Canary,

I have experience of trying to agree a parenting plan.

It is a flexible framework for keeping contact between children and parents. Children need order and boundaries and it would be best to give them the sense of stability that a schedule of visits/stays brings together with the knowledge that mum/dad is happy with them seeing the NRP and that they aren't "betraying" the RP by having a nice time away from home.

The parenting plan is primarily for the benefit of the children and I don't think it's practical to have a rigid schedule of dates and activities, just a general framework of days and stay-overs.

A Resident parent may refuse to agree a parenting plan as they feel they are the best judge of what the children need and therefore the "parenting plan" is whatever they say it is at a particular time on a particular day. This attitude excludes the Non-resident parent and is unlikely to be constructive towards providing a stable home for children in the medium to long terms. Of course I assume that violence and abuse by either parent is non-existent.

  • Fiona
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08 Nov 07 #6176 by Fiona
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The parenting plan is useful but if your x2b doesn't wan to do it there's not much you can do. Would she be more likely to discuss parenting if a third party was present such as a family mediator?

  • Canary
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09 Nov 07 #6216 by Canary
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I don't think she wants to discuss any of these sorts of things at all. I think the problem is, and that of our marriage was, we did not have the skills to resolve our differences and views and she wants to avoid that now that we have split.

As NRP it seems my views only count if x2b agrees with them, or if it is tied to money. I guess that is the lot of the NRP father.

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