Can i be made to leave....?

evening all.

only been given the news a few days ago that my wife intends to divorce me. grounds are UB - they are frankly lame reasons but i am not going to contest.

however my big concern is our 2 children. my question might seem a little odd as i am a noobie to all this!!

but as i have no intention of leaving my children, she is divorcing me. she also has no intention of leaving the them too. can I be *made* to leave the house? by some court order of some sort?

i can only just afford to keep this family home, i cannot afford a 2nd residence were i too be made to leave - i would need to sell my stake in the home to fund the rent on a new place. but then so would she as she doesn't have any money to buy me out to maintain the current house.

i really dont know how this could ever be deemed to be in the best intentions of the children?

probably have loads of questions in the next few days!! :o) but that is the one i am worrying about at the moment.

yours.

Hi Rob,

I don't think you can be made to leave unless with a court order. However, my feelings on this are that you should stay as long as it doesn't get so bad as to cause upset to the kids.

Most solicitors would advise you to stay in your home anyway. It always irks me that it seems to be the man that has to leave, well at least 85% of the time anyway! The more you are able to stay in your home the better I think your chances would be of getting a compromise with your ex without getting into a lengthy legal battle.

This would be because if your ex really does want to divorce you the longer you are in the house the more she will want to find a way out and could eventually be more willing to listen to any reasonable deals you put to her so that she can move on with her life - do you see my reasoning? However, if you left voluntarily she has more reason to stay in the home and more reason to fight for her right to remain in the home.

When my Partner originally went for legal advice 3 different solicitors told him to stay in his home. However, it became unbearable as his ex is a very stubborn woman who just won't talk or see reason. Personally if it had been me I would have stayed just to annoy her and until I made her give in but, thats just me! He on the other hand couldn't stand it anymore and left. They were both in their late fifties at that time and both still able to work so really with no kids it should have been a simple matter of sell the house, pensions 50/50 split. However he waited 6 years to file for divorce and paid off the mortgage in that time but it became nasty and by moving out all his rights to his home had gone believe it or not. She had more rights because of her age to stay there and he nearly lost it all!! Can you believe that at his age!!! I persued a route that enabled the courts to give him at least something out of all this but to say his house was worth £150k and paid for (BY HIM!) he only came out with £28k?? So, if you can stay to the point that she would just be glad to do anything to end the relationship i.e.split the proceeds, house pensions etc straight down the middle or however you see fit that would still put another decent roof over your kids heads, get it rubber stamped by the courts and move on with your lives. Try Try Try not to leave but not at the expense of your kids happiness!!

I don't think I will get to read your reply to this as I am off on holiday in a few hours for a week but will catch up with interest on my return to see what others think you should do!!

Good luck

OBEs 1