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  • Dimitri_S
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13 Nov 07 #6518 by Dimitri_S
Topic started by Dimitri_S
Hi! Newb here, what a great site - I wish it had existed or I had known of it ten yers ago when I got divorced...:)

Long story cut short, post-divorce has generally been fine, regular contact with the kids (albeit a few diffs in the early days, and ex moved country also (fair enough, to the place of her birth, family etc )) Now she has developed a terminal disease (I am unaware of the exact prognosis, maybe years, she is certainly planning to be around next summer as she has booked her holidays) She refuses to discuss this with the kids, (11 and 12 yrs) as it will be too painful for them. I disagree, feeling that they should be included in decision making etc, obviously with tact and sensitivity.

Now she has instigated a court case to ensure that when she passes on that the kids are cared for by her parents (Both very elderly) Now, while I sympathise with her situation, I feel that if she does die then the kids should be cared for by myself as I can provide a stable family for them etc. I plan to move closer to them within the next year to facilitate this if necessary. Still she has said in a recent outburst that she "Will do everything within her power to make sure I never get them" This is so upsetting, I have no desire to treat my children as some sort of commodity, yet I must stand my ground as she has brought the case to court now. I appreciate the sensitivity of the situation, however I can think of nothing else right now. Its so unlike her to be so aggro, and I know that death does strange things to people - my own parents died in the last few years of horrible diseases, so I can empathise.

Oh gosh - anyone still awake? Any advice or useful comments appreciated. Perhaps I just needed to get this off my chest..

  • loobyloo
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13 Nov 07 #6522 by loobyloo
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I would imagine if youve had good relationship with your children any judge in right mind (not sure any are though!)would see the obvious solution... surely it will be thier father who assumes responsibility of children.
I hope im right

  • lilybet
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13 Nov 07 #6527 by lilybet
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sorry to hear of your predicament,but,i'm sure chilren of 10yrs and above are asked in court cases to decide where and who should be allowed to parent them,you should look up the family site find the link in resourses on this site,sure i read something on this.it makes a nice change to hear a father wanting to be an active parent,not so in my case. good luck liz

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