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13 Nov 07 #6535 by rob.w
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i have just been informed that prior to mediation starting up my other half has decided to install a regime of alternate weekends, based on some knowledge of the system i believe.

she is therefore taking it upon herself to take them away this weekend to somewhere other than our house.

can she do this? i am not driving the split. haven't requested it or chosen to give up my children every other weekend. why should i stand for this loss? do i have to?

any assistance greatfully recieved, i am very confused at the moment.

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13 Nov 07 #6537 by sexysadie
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Alternate weekends with each parent is pretty usual, though it depends on the age of the children and what suits everyone. This is something that you should discuss in mediation.

Both parents need to have a reasonable length of time with the children, if possible, and children need to have stable arrangements. It is better for them not to see you arguing about this or anything else. I would let her do it this time and use the time to get your head together a bit and see friends.

Sadie

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13 Nov 07 #6538 by rob.w
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thanks for the reply.

while i accept this will probably be the end result of the mediation.

i am befuddled by the idea that i haven't done anything wrong other than my mrs deciding we are incompatible after 11 years marriage and me seemingly now being 'penalised' for this.

i have not requested that she take them away... i would rather have them and for her to take the weekend away, but apparently i have to do what she says....

:(

how can that be right?

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13 Nov 07 #6569 by Monitor441
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Rob. No one acts normally during a split up. If your mrs has decided that she wants out of your marriage, there is very little you can do about it. And if she wants to take them away for the weekend, let her. It will give you time to collect your thoughts.Bt=y the way, my ex2b was always right as well!

I have been away from her for nearly 12 months and life is very sweet. I have my 2 kids 50% of the time, week on week off and I have quality time with the kids and I have quality time for me.

good luck

Mon

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14 Nov 07 #6622 by rob.w
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it seems crackers to me.... my son has football on sat am and daughter has friends party pm. she is willingly going to take both to both events even though each will not want to be at each others gig purely so she can meet this aim.
being as normally i would have done both of these events but with each respective child individually.... i feel she is willfully dragging about the kids to meet her own ends.

most parents will say it is best not to show a 7 year old something they cant have.... i.e. a party, however all of a sudden the mrs thinks this is acceptable! hmmmmm.

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14 Nov 07 #6636 by sexysadie
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I think you need to try and calm down about this. Once you have split you will each be a single parent the times you have the children, and this is what being a single parent is like for both parents and children. It's not such a big deal to have to sit through your brother's football or deliver your sister to a party. It is understandable that you feel angry but you need to try not to see your wife as suddenly a bad parent just because she doesn't want to be your wife any more.

Sadie

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14 Nov 07 #6640 by rob.w
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fair point.... thanking you.

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