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X2b being a social snob!!

  • madaboutcars
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17 Nov 07 #6861 by madaboutcars
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I found out yesterday from my x2b that our daughter will be starting private schooling in January 08. The reason that it is private and not state is that my x2b is a 'social snob'.There are 3 excellent schools in our catchment area but the x being what she is thinks she is better then everyone else and will enjoy looking down on people that put their children in state schools.
In our local paper this week, the private school had an open day coming up so i emailed x2b to see if we should go and have a look as she had previously mentioned that she wanted to put our daughter in there. This is when i found out that she had already registered her to start there in January!
Our daughter is only 3 so will be starting the nursery side of things first and then starting school in September 2008.
Her reply to my question of whether we should go and visit the school was " you can only visit if you are going to contribute to the fees".
I have always made myself clear from day one that i do not agree with my daughter going to private school when there are 3 perfectly good schools in the area (i know about these schools in depth as my mum is a school governer to one of them).
Sorry to go on but my question is where do i stand with regards to the school, i would like to visit the school (and proberbly will but without the ex!). Do i speak to the head and explain that i would like to have info about school fun days, photos, parents evenings etc or because x is paying fees, i would not be "entitled" to be involved in daughter schooling.
Im very confused:unsure:

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17 Nov 07 #6863 by sexysadie
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I would speak to the head and see what happens. The school wouldn't necessarily know whether or not you will be contributing to the fees. Usually schools like to have contact with both parents if possible and as legally you are both responsible for your child then they may even have to include you if you ask. Tread carefully, though. You don't want your ex insisting formally to the school that you have no contact.

Sadie

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17 Nov 07 #6865 by OO Soul
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Hi
I thought that if both parties enjoyed parental responsibility over the child both should have a say in what school the child attends ?
Just thinking out loud...

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17 Nov 07 #6868 by madaboutcars
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Yes, although we have joint parental responsibility, the x2b has just done what she wants (as usual). Dont get me wrong, this school is very good but my daughters friends will all be going to one of the 3 local schools so my daughter will have to make new friends again, while this is easy for a 3 year old, she has had alot of ups and downs in her short life, mum and dad splitting, mum getting new partner, dad getting new partner, mum moving home twice, mum having a baby.... Some stability would of been kinder but they do say children adapt easy.:unsure:

I think i will arrange to meet the head and explain that i have joint parental responsibility and that i would like to be on their database, at least for emergency contact.
Where do i stand there??? She currently has herself as contact 1, her partner as contact 2. The nursery that she currently goes to have been told not to contact me in any emergency (its a control thing!!- i only found out because the rung me by mistake, but again because she pays the nursery fees, the nursery have told me that they have to abide by her wishes!!!!!!!!

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17 Nov 07 #6888 by Camberwick green
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Because you have parental responsibility you have a right to see the school, records and anything pertaining to your daughters education, she cannot legally shut you out of her life because you are not together and I doubt that you wouldn’t be allowed access to information because you are not contributing to the fees, are you making payments to her in the form of maintenance? This will be regarded as your contribution I would imagine.
It is also stated on many information forms in schools that anyone with parental responsibility for the child must be disclosed with contact details.

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17 Nov 07 #6897 by OO Soul
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Camberwick Green
I suspected what you were saying but wasnt too certain

Not a nice situation

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17 Nov 07 #6902 by madaboutcars
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yes i pay 15% of my net wage to her.

Thankyou for your comments, I will definetly be visiting the Headmaster.

MAC

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