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Survey: Parental Alienation Syndrome

  • unic
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07 Feb 08 #13130 by unic
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1. Husband was strongly involved with the children before breakdown. His parenting was not challenged. He leaves (for whatever reason) - child(ren) stay with mother. Mother very angry/bitter with father. Has real or perceived grievances against him. Consciously or (more usually) unconsciously she sends out signals devaluing husband, and therefore contact with husband/father

SOML!! Little anecdote. 15 yr old child spends regular 3 nights per week with me. First hearing DJ tells stbx(earns £60k p.a. Equity in house in excess of £250k) that the 2 of them dont need a 5 bed house until he can afford a house of his own. Hearing on day son is with me. Get home to find she has posted him a letter outlining how they will now have to sleep on the street! Since then son will not stay with me nor talk about the situation. Impossible to deal with. Sigh.

I'm in Will

  • Zoomz
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29 Mar 08 #17960 by Zoomz
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Hi Will. I am in very definite PAS situation. Was extremely close to both. Now son (14) no longer will acknowledge me in street, speak, etc. Daughter (12) seems on verge but still talking. Mother in vitriolic meltdown. After years of hanging on to contact (I commute nearly 500 miles every day!) it is heartbreaking. Just received a book recommended to me by a friend at paawareness.org/. Excellent detail on subject. Called Divorce Poison. By Dr RA Warshak. A must for info and what to do about it. Author also has site www.warshak.com. Regards z

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31 Mar 08 #18101 by wscowell
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Hi Zoomz,

Many thanks. Will follow this up - msg me off forum if you wish: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Apologies for delay, combination of work and illness. Best wishes

Will C

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31 Mar 08 #18104 by Mrs Ingledew
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what about parents not wanting to see/contact etc their children - is there any advice youthere on what to say to/how to help them?

My childrens father has no spoken to out daughter since November.

Seen our son twice since Christmas and won't organise seeing them as it involces speaking to me!! (although i have said he could use a third party!)

Any advice welcome.

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31 Mar 08 #18105 by Elle
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Hi Will,
Hope your feeling better.
"Lost Children" by Penny Cross has info n links re PAS.
Whatever name is applied, parents that use children to meet their own needs, whether financial or emotional cause long lasting damage to the children and the absent parent. There is little empathy and understanding with a great deal of unwarranted stigma and harshness meted from people who have not experienced such alienation. Its a lose/lose situation for the children and sad that some parents are so selfish they are incapable of seeing the damage they are causing to "get even, satisfy an unwarranted/misdirected emotion, bully, control, etc"
Any recognition of conduct where children are used as weapons in separation has to be an advantage given the escalation of the issue.
Good luck with your project
Elle

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31 Mar 08 #18106 by loobyloo
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Taylr mine too has had no contact with kids since aug , I bought them phones so he could contact direct...no
I email etc text get no response so wait for this
I was back in home town ths weekend having seen sol, so took bull by horns and went to FMH(still mine) we were graced with access.... kids took toys etc he hardly spoke to them, he is cleary running house down not clean stuff every where half decorated etc
Anyway my daughter confronted hm and asked why he dosent bother with them? He said ill phone you later have your mobiile ready...did he phone.... no
So i am making no more effort to reconsile him with kids...I have fh in 3 weeks and will make my life with kds without him or anyone I need to be strong and stop being reliant on anyone ever again
So you have my sympathies tay, btw is your x2b chinese/by any chance
looby

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31 Mar 08 #18109 by Elle
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Looby,
You have done everything you can to ensure your kids have contact with both parents....well done. Wish my x had a little of your sense and humanity...good luck with the fh
Elle

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