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having the kids

  • MJackson
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20 Feb 08 #14559 by MJackson
Topic started by MJackson
How often should I be able to have the kids to stay, at the moment I get 1 weekend in 6. I do get to see the kids each sunday.

I know its difficult, because I live 3 hours away.

If it helps I left my wife.

  • DownButNotOut
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20 Feb 08 #14561 by DownButNotOut
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Welcome to the site...we are honoured.

I think you might get to see them more often if u got rid of the monkey and spent a little less on plastic surgery :laugh:

[sorry - couldnt help myself - u must get v fed up of that!]


1) U should in principle (not necessarily realistic when u live 3 hrs away) be able to get 50% access.

2) A typical practial 'norm' for non-resident dad when things are working well is every other weekend plus one night during the week.

In your case option 2 sounds a reasonable target to shoot for....plus a few weeks (perhaps 4 ) hols per year.

  • MJackson
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21 Feb 08 #14576 by MJackson
Reply from MJackson
Thanks alot Karma, that was really useful.

I'll take your advice and get rid of the Monkey, but can I keep the theme park?

  • rubytuesday
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21 Feb 08 #14583 by rubytuesday
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Welcome to the site, I hope you find it useful and imformative.

As a mother, 1 weekend in 6 seems inadequete, at best. My children's father lives 5 hours drive away, so doens't have them as often as he would like, simply due to the distance. I often take the girls to a suitable "half-way" town so they can spend the day together, and they spend most of their school holidays with him, his holidays from work allowing.

There are other ways in which they keep in touch. At least once a week, they "meet" on MSN and use the web-cams, regular phone calls and letters help to strenghten the relationship too. Prehaps this is something that you could suggest to your x2b?

|think the key is flexabilty and keeping the channels of communication open, this has worked for my ex-partner and I (although I admit it hasn't always been so amicable!)

I hope things work out for you, let us know how you get on. And remember, children need thier dads too!


  • MJackson
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21 Feb 08 #14586 by MJackson
Reply from MJackson
Hi Ruby

Thanks alot for that, it does help.

I do ring, their mob's bur rarely get an answer, so txt works a bit, and I think all I can do is keep on trying with it. Fortunately I do see them Sundays, or one as the other doesnt want to see me at present, but all I can do is keep on trying.

I hope with the passage of time, as things relax a bit, it will all get easier.


  • nevagivup
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21 Feb 08 #14599 by nevagivup
Reply from nevagivup

My sympathies are with you.

I recently obtained a Consent Order to get to see my kids more regularly, and although , initially my ex was reasonably co-operative, latterly she has blatantly made it very awkward for me to get to see them on the basis agreed by the court.

It places me in a very difficult situation, as I dont want to stress the children out by insisting that they have to spend time with me. For instance this half term I was supposed to have my son stay over for at least half the time. His mother has organised loads of activities and friends staying over that it places my 9 nine year old in a very awkward position. It was agreed that they stay with me on Tuesday and Wednesday, but on the day my son called to say that they were to busy and couldn't make it until Saturday.

I am incensed with the way my ex is manipulating the kids, but feel that my hands are tied, as like I have said before I dont want them to incur the wrath of their mother by insisting that they want to see me.

I would like to hear from other members who have been in this position before, and tell me how they handled it.


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21 Feb 08 #14623 by IKNOWNOW
Reply from IKNOWNOW
Hi, Just wanted to ask how old the children are, as I think this also has a bearing on things.

Sorry can't add comment about how contact can work as my 5 children currently don't see their dad, mainly through his choice.

Hope you can keep things amicable, and use as many forms of contact as possible.

Best of Luck.


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