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Not much help from Husband

  • Emalou33
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21 Feb 08 #14600 by Emalou33
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Hi

Wondered if anyone else has this problem.

H and I split over a year ago - he left for another woman, at first he was living 1.5 hours drive away and came back at weekends to see our daughter, then he moved to a town 20 mins away and when things are ok between us he picks our daughter (aged 10) up from school one night a week and she stays over and then he has her on her a Sunday afternoon and evening., He is totally inflexible about weekends as he see his girlfriend who lives 1,5 hours away from him on Fridays and Saturdays and my daughter does not want to spend time with her.

The problem is that we often have a big fall out usually over money as he will not discuss anything with me and then goes mad at the fact I have involved solicitors, and he then disappears, he will not answer any of our little girls calls and texts, and can go without seeing her for two weeks at a time. We had a hospital appointment for her on 11th FEb and he has not yet asked how it went, and it is parents evening tonight and he is not even talking to me let alone coming.

Anyway last night my ten year old daughter left him two messages saying, Hi Daddy can you call me back please as I want to arrange a time to see you' - no reponse at all.

I am heartbroken to see her having to take on this responsibilty of arranging her time with her Dad and wonder if anyone has any advice about how I can improve it for her.

Also - even when things are ok between us all ignores any contact from us when he is with his girlfriend, which makes my daughter and I even more resentful to her than we already were.

Any ideas?

Thanks

Emalou
xx

  • Specialdad
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21 Feb 08 #14605 by Specialdad
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After separation and divorce things fall into the following camps:

1. The parent with kids usually needs money and careful handling.

2. The parent without care usually needs contact and careful handling.

The only common thing is the careful handling bit.

  • loobyloo
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21 Feb 08 #14608 by loobyloo
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Emalou
You have hit a very raw nerve with me if you have read my posts, I therefore know exactly how you feel
My 2,s dad (8 and10) has had no contact since august
I email and text him all the time telling him there progress etc..never get a response
I also have the added pleasure of all the finances been dragged through courts since april and have final hearing next month..yet...his ignorance of the kids has no bearing on anything
You will read he is a gp earns extra at on call, and has own surgerry too, and is swanning round in cuckoo land
He has ignored csa and despite my battling with them is still not paying for kids
They are ok with me maybe dont have the money to spend on them but even now if he wanted to see them id be wary of him undoing all the work I have done to stop them being hurt by it all
albeit i left him and moved 120miles away, but he left me no choice....i mean these days whats 120 miles, but he would put work before his kids
I have met a new boyfriend, he is still in medcal prof, but not a dr a paramedic, he is normal, down to earth and good with kids
I am only now realising what a miserable existance I was living..yes had money..but a huge crater in my life, which am slowly filling
I have the love and respect of MY kids and its on their own heads when chose to reject their own kids
i will to the day i die ever ever understand my x2b,s behaviour
so chic you are not alone
looby

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21 Feb 08 #14609 by loobyloo
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p.s
I got kids own mobiles and sent him numbers so couldnt use me as excuse, no need to speak to me.....still no joy

  • Emalou33
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21 Feb 08 #14612 by Emalou33
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My x2b bought our daughter a phone last year, paying £50/month on contract (guilt?) She is only 10!!! She lost it as was always going to be likely and it is insured but he has made no attempt to claim a new one for over four months now he is paying out £50 for nothing. How do you stop the kids from feeling abandoned? I keep trying to cover up for him, he was such a good daddy before he left I just do not understand it...

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