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Not much help from Husband

  • Emalou33
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21 Feb 08 #14601 by Emalou33
Topic started by Emalou33

Wondered if anyone else has this problem.

H and I split over a year ago - he left for another woman, at first he was living 1.5 hours drive away and came back at weekends to see our daughter, then he moved to a town 20 mins away and when things are ok between us he picks our daughter (aged 10) up from school one night a week and she stays over and then he has her on her a Sunday afternoon and evening., He is totally inflexible about weekends as he see his girlfriend who lives 1,5 hours away from him on Fridays and Saturdays and my daughter does not want to spend time with her.

The problem is that we often have a big fall out usually over money as he will not discuss anything with me and then goes mad at the fact I have involved solicitors, and he then disappears, he will not answer any of our little girls calls and texts, and can go without seeing her for two weeks at a time. We had a hospital appointment for her on 11th FEb and he has not yet asked how it went, and it is parents evening tonight and he is not even talking to me let alone coming.

Anyway last night my ten year old daughter left him two messages saying, Hi Daddy can you call me back please as I want to arrange a time to see you' - no reponse at all.

I am heartbroken to see her having to take on this responsibilty of arranging her time with her Dad and wonder if anyone has any advice about how I can improve it for her.

Also - even when things are ok between us all ignores any contact from us when he is with his girlfriend, which makes my daughter and I even more resentful to her than we already were.

Any ideas?



  • Rosie91
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21 Feb 08 #14604 by Rosie91
Reply from Rosie91
I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, I can only empathise.

Our sons have experienced this for 2 years & although they are older it gets no easier.

STBX is in his own world and to them they are not welcome unless they accept everything, that he is doing and who he is with.

It is difficult for children when this happens but from what I read it is not uncommon.

STBX has ignored everything associated with sons for past 2 years, including health, schooling. He hasn't supported them or me financially either.

He lives locally, works locally, no excuse, just doesn't want the responsibility.

  • Emalou33
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21 Feb 08 #14620 by Emalou33
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Rosie that is awful - how old are your boys?

It is so hard for the kids and the parent without much contact is impacting on the eay that they feel about themselves for the rest of their lives. If one parent is showing a lack of care does the child blame themselves? I think in some cases they do...

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