A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

Changes to Residency on Statement of Arrangements

  • deejer
  • deejer's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
03 Mar 08 #15616 by deejer
Topic started by deejer
Hi all. My ex wife and I divorced 6+ yrs ago and my children live with her. We had a Clean Break agreed and the agreement that the children live with her was under a statement of arrangements. Yes I do pay a hefty monthly maint to cover the children !

She has since re married (as have I) and she has had another child plus one on the way (all with different fathers)and is now living with another partner and has also moved substantially further away (despite the fact that her settlement case was on the basis SHE had to stay nearby to facilitate access!).

My eleven year old son has had enough & over the last year has been spending as much time as possible with me and as a result has announced he wants to move and live with us. Him and I and my new wife have discussed at some length and he is 100% adamant thats what he wants. His mother however appears to have other ideas and is doing everything possible to stop the move. She is telling me I will have to get a court order before she will allow him to move - her claim is that this is a legal necessity and not that she is being awkward.

Is this the case or couldnt we just try and amicably agree, document and both sign a change letter ?

  • ariesgirl63
  • ariesgirl63's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
03 Mar 08 #15622 by ariesgirl63
Reply from ariesgirl63
Hi deejer,
My understanding is that the Courts only become involved in childcare issues as a last resort. If you and your ex can agree amicably on arrangements then there is no need to involve the courts or incur the additional expense that an application to Court would involve. However, if a Court application it has to be becasue your ex insists upon it then I was told by my solicitor that when a child is 10 or over (though of course this depends on the maturity of individual children) then their wishes on who they live with are taken into consideration.

  • deejer
  • deejer's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
03 Mar 08 #15647 by deejer
Reply from deejer
thanks 4 that. I heard a rumour that if she is unreasonable in insisting that I obtain a court ruling then I can also claim all costs against her.

Ive suggested we document the move and both sign it but she refuses to let him move unless I get a court residency order. Given I have a stable and nice home environment that he loves and 'he' has decided he wants to be part of I find it amazing that his mother insists on standing in the way. Ridiculous to think that my child maint payments will end up paying the very legal advice she will need to stop the inevitable !

  • tiredmum
  • tiredmum's Avatar
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
21 Oct 08 #58500 by tiredmum
Reply from tiredmum
Hi, i have just read your posting and am wondering whether you got your son? My partner is going through something similar at the moment so any tips would be great!

  • D L
  • D L's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
21 Oct 08 #58504 by D L
Reply from D L
Hi there

You do not need to change the Statement of Arrangments - this is merely a statement of intent and has no real legal standing.

If you want your son to live with you and she will not hand him over, then you need to apply for a residence order, but applications for orders are a measure of last resort. You cannot claim costs against her. You do not need a piece of paper signed by both of you for this to happen.

Perhaps the best way forward is a letter to her from a solicitor pointing out that she is incorrect in her thinking and hoping that she will see sense? It would seem a shame to have this go throught court needlessly.


Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.