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Schooling

  • nevagivup
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19 Mar 08 #17174 by nevagivup
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I recently obtained a Court Order for contact with my children, but my ex makes it difficult for me to enforce as she refuses to speak to me, so I am left to do all negotiations of contact via my 14 yr old daughter. I'm supposed to see my 9yr old son every other weekend, but this is difficult to carry out as my ex invariably arranges events which are a distraction to my son, and forces him to make a choice of coming to mine or do something at home. Clearly, this makes it awkward for him, and I would rather not place to much pressure on his young shoulders by insisting that he comes to stay. I know this is all rather unfair, but I am told that there is very little I can do unless I go the courts for residence.

At present, I live with this situation, as we have still got the Final Hearing of the finances to be resolved. Thereafter, I will review my position.

The problem that I would like advice on though is that my ex is arranging to move both the children out of their present schools, and I only heard about this yesterday.

Can anybody please tell me whether I have any rights here, or can she unilaterally make these decisions about their future without consulting me.

I appreciate any comments.

  • Tinny
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19 Mar 08 #17180 by Tinny
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Nevagivup - not much time at the minute but I have a very similar situation. Do something about contact with your children, dont wait. Go to the courts for a contact order - hopefully someone here with more time atm will give you a more detail.

Take care
Tinny

  • Fiona
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19 Mar 08 #17181 by Fiona
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When parents disagree about an issue such as schooling they may apply to court for a Specific Issues order. However, it is always worth trying to resolve child related problems through mediation or negotiation. They are generally cheaper, quicker and experience shows people are more satisfied with arrangements they make themselves and are more likely to stick to them. Contact problems are best dealt like this too. Also you may find contact does settle, particularly once the finances are sorted.

  • Mrs Ingledew
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19 Mar 08 #17202 by Mrs Ingledew
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Sorry I can't help. I am guilty of doin g what your ex is - moving my daughters school without his input.

Not because I haven't tried to involve him but becuase he won't be involved. I can only write to him and I won't do that!

I feel for you Iwish my ex would be involved I wish he would see his children and not treat the m like toys that he can pick up and drop. I wish he would abide by the child statement but he won't. He has no respect for me and thinks it acceptable to make arrangements directly with our 14 year old - then I end up being bad cop by saying "no I have made other arrangments!"

Not sure where I stand either? My ex thinks nothing of taking my son out of school and not informing me - is this allowed?

be interested to know as this is two sides of the same coin!

  • Fiona
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19 Mar 08 #17229 by Fiona
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taylr14,

Not sure where I stand either? My ex thinks nothing of taking my son out of school and not informing me - is this allowed?


Another type of court order is Prohibitive Steps which prevents any specific 'step' being taken without the consent of the court, although the same applies as above about trying negotiation/mediation in the first instance.

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20 Mar 08 #17277 by Mrs Ingledew
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for negotiation or mediation both parties need to be prepared to talk. My x will not communicate with me at all. Would love mediation or negotiation but ...

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