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duty to promote contact - legal reference

  • a nonny mouse
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18 Mar 12 #318757 by a nonny mouse
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It''s often stated that the resident parent has a duty to promote contact.

Can anyone point me in the direction of a source to confirm this?

We''ve been divorced for 10 years. There is no contact or residence order. My son is 15 but lives 200 miles away - his choice and with my blessing. But I have to beg my ex for contact even though my son wants to visit and trying to coordinate things when he wants to bring friends with him is getting increasingly difficult. I''m not allowed to speak with my son about the dates before requesting them so I have to specify dates before I get a chance to speak with the friends'' parents and then, if they have to change, I have to beg to change them and this is often refused.

I''m hoping that if I can source it in black and white it might make it clear that this is not acceptable behaviour on my ex''s part.

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18 Mar 12 #318762 by sillywoman
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Your son is 15 so surely he is at an age now when he can decide when to come to visit you. I would think especially in school holidays mum would be glad to get rid of him for a bit!

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18 Mar 12 #318815 by a nonny mouse
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My ex is very controlling. To the point that he will tell our son that he is coming to visit here without discussing it with me first.

Any ideas on a source?

(BTW, I am mum)

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18 Mar 12 #318832 by sillywoman
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At 15 surely your lad is entitled to make some of his own decisions - especially when he sees his mum? Did you get to see him today?

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18 Mar 12 #318835 by Emma8485
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Hi, even with a controlling ex your son is 15 years old and generally they vote with their feet at that age!

If he wants to come and see you, then tell your ex thats what is happening and go collect him - at 15 theres very little the ex can do to prevent him - even if he went to court for any kind of order, presumably your son would tell Cafcass he wants to come and see you and it would go in your favour anyway.

x

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18 Mar 12 #318859 by a nonny mouse
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All these comments are exactly what I would say to me if I were someone else. But the reality is that our son will toe the line because he has a lot to lose if he goes against his dad on this. The immediate action is a loss of all privileges. A few months ago it came close to dad kicking him out - because I happened to mention that he had told me something about school. And he really doesn''t want to leave the school he''s in, he''s very lucky to have that opportunity and there is nothing similar near me - otherwise I know he''d be back like a shot.

I haven''t seen him today because, as mentioned in the OP, he lives 200 miles away. A weekend isn''t an option. Going to collect him isn''t an option, it would be a one way trip for our son. Ditto if I took it to court.

I''ve even considered moving, just so our son can continue at school but live with me - unfortunately we''ve literally just managed to get my younger son statemented and settled at a new school, the pros don''t outweigh the cons.

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