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18 Mar 12 #318805 by daddycoolj
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Hi,

I''ll just give you the basics of my problem.

I split with my wife 5 years ago, went back to my mothers, wife dropped 8year old daughter off every Fri-Sun. A problem occurred with the dog occurred at the house so my ex wfe stopped my daughter coming and I had to see her there.

I have been in a new relationship for 18months which has worked fine I take my daughter out each Saturday and me and my new partner take our children to lots of places that I would never have been able to take my daughter alone as I dont drive.

I moved in with my partner nearly 15 months ago, since this my ex wife is being completely obstructive, we accepted she wouldnt let my ddaughter stay over and my partner was ok with me staying with my daughter at her house all day Sunday.

Now however my ex wife is refusing to let me see my daughter if I still have a relationship with my partner.

Where would I stand in a court with getting regular weekend contact ? would the court think she is not stopping access so whats the problem, or would they see it as fair for me to get weekend contact.?

Everything at the moment is a threat "you cannot see your daughter if ...." etc I already pay twice the CSA guidelines and more is my daughter needs it ad would do anything to see her.

Thanks in advance

Mark

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18 Mar 12 #318808 by MissTish1
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Hi Mark and welcome,

Basically this behaviour is very common. Everything is fine until you get a new partner, and then jealousy and bitterness kick in and the child is used against you. That''s very wrong, and not acceptable, and you need to stop this behaviour in it''s tracks.

As you say, you have been having regular contact, but I''m struggling to understand why you don''t have overnights? I know you mentioned a dog, but is this dog a dangerous one? You state there was a problem with the dog, could you explain that a little more clearly.

Taking the dog out of the equation for now, you should really be having overnight contact with your daughter, and the fact that it would be at your new home that you share with your partner doesn''t matter (it would matter to your ex no doubt, but she would have to just get over it). ''Normal'' contact that is awarded to most non resident parents (NRP''s) is alternate weekend contact, Friday to Sunday, possibly midweek overnight contact too, half of all school holidays, alternate birthdays, Christmases and Easter, so your chances in Court would be excellent of getting that.

However, it might be worth trying mediation in the first instance, especially as the Courts prefer this avenue to have been addressed before an application is made for Contact. Arrange it, and if she doesn''t show up or refuses to attend, then you can proceed to Court. A lot of NRP''s self-represent in Court for Contact, and it''s very easy to do. There are plenty of folks in Wiki that have done it, so lots of advice and help available, and it only costs £200!

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18 Mar 12 #318811 by daddycoolj
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Thanks Tish,

To be honest the dog isnt really the issue now as I moved out of my mothers oer a year ago, the dog is not particulary a dangerous one it just bit me once and my ex stopped me having my daughter at the house.

I saw on tv last week that I could apply direct to the court, and self represent but not having done anything like this before I would hate to lose and never see my daughter again.

Mediation is out of the question, she is very controlling and likes her own way.

I would love overnight contact with my daughter like I used to and she feels she is missing out as I live with my partner and children who are the same age. We have her own bedroom ready for her here and has said she would lovel to stay

Thanks
Mark

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18 Mar 12 #318828 by MissTish1
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There is absolutely no reason why you cannot have your daughter overnight. What''s considered best for a child is regular substantial contact with each parent, and that includes special occasions too. For contact to be restricted/thwarted there would have to be exceptional valid reasons, ie serious concerns over the child''s welfare or safety, so an application to Court would be the best way to proceed as your ex has no valid reasons to be making contact difficult.

You do need to at least make an appointment for mediation, even if she fails to attend or respond, as the Courts expect you to have tried this first.

As for self-repping, it is easy, honestly. My husband has done it for contact, enforcement and residence, all successful, and all with help from the good folks of Wiki!!

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18 Mar 12 #318834 by daddycoolj
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How do I even begin, how do I go about mediation? and how would I self rep ?

Cheers

Mark

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18 Mar 12 #318850 by MissTish1
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Well there should be a mediation service in your local area. I''m not sure, but perhaps your local Family Court could help, or perhaps Google it? Hopefully someone else will be able to answer that better for you (when my husband applied for PR we used a solicitor (big mistake due to expense, but you live and learn!) and he arranged the mediation, which wasn''t attended by his ex)).

Once mediation has been attempted, and has failed, you would need to apply to the Court for Contact, using the Form C100 which you can download, fill in and then file at your local Court with a fee of £200. It really is relatively easy, easier than you think it will be. Don''t worry too much about all that right now, concentrate on the mediation side of things first and foremost. But if you want to have a look at the form to see what''s involved with it, see it here

www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Forms/Child-Co...ation-Form-C100.html

Don''t be scared, remember it''s your daughter''s right to have contact with you!! Honestly, there''s loads of us in Wiki that can guide you through the process if and when needs be :)

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