STBX has totally knocked me for six. Found out from the kids that new partner had stayed over at the weekend. I had no idea there was a new partner. Kids had never met him before that night. Cannot believe that she thought that was anything like appropriate but she turned it all around that she had informed the kids in advance and asked if it was OK. What are they gonna say aged 5 and 8? And its nothing to do with me after nearly 20 years together. How dare I question what she does. Been separated a year. I accept that but there is common decency and trying to spare someone''s feelings that my stbx doesn''t seem to have anymore. so my kids witnessed my anger and minor breakdown last night and I really didn''t want them to. She could have spared them that but chose to go about it this way.
Anyway my head is now swimming with thoughts about what the future holds and naturally if I am to be replaced as the male figure in my kids'' lives. My wife works steady 9-5 but I work shifts and off different days each week. In statements of arrangements for children and attempts at
mediation we agreed to be flexible about contact and so far this has worked. I have the kids roughly 2 nights per week.
This new partner lives 2hrs drive away in the same town as STBXs family. I hope I am wrong but I am now envisaging her upping and moving. I was concerned about it before but now it seems very likely. Kids would be devastated and so would I but sadly I cannot believe that would make any difference. This would make contact so difficult as term time I''d get to see them once in four or five weekends. I hadn''t spent any time away from them until stbx decided after 20 years of consideration and 2 childrens lives ruined that I wasn''t what she wanted after all. I even worked part time for two years for childcare reasons so there was no distinction between us as parents/carers.
Can I stop this happening if it comes to it? Would a shared residence order help my situation? Can a contact order accomodate a shift pattern like mine? Any advice welcome for a broken hearted Dad who is fearing the worst.