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Advice Needed on Contact Issues

  • angelcakkes
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24 Mar 12 #319852 by angelcakkes
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Need some Advice about contact between my son and his father. We broke up when my son was 2 months and my husband moved out. We applied for a divorce straight away under his unreasonable behaviour, I gave him access to his son from the start and he had him unsupervised once a week for up to 6hours. After 3 months (when my son was 6 months) I noticed he was coming home in wet clothes, the food I had provided wasn''t eaten or the juice drunk, he wasn''t looking after him correctly and on the days he had him my son wouldn''t sleep at night on his own. he would hold on to me and cry. I stopped unsupervised contact when my son was 9months old and said he could see him where-ever he liked but with my supervision, he agreed and we arranged for it to be twice a week at a place we both found comfortable. He came the first time then slowly pulled away until he stopped coming at all to see his son. 3 months later I got a letter from his solicitor saying he wants his son for 6-7 hours a week unsupervised then leading to over-nights. The divorce is still going through. Any advice as to hat the courts would suggest for contact due to him not caring for him properly when having him alone? My son is now 18months and hasn''t seen his father for 5 months. help!

  • MissTish1
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24 Mar 12 #319863 by MissTish1
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It''s generally considered that contact is in the best interests of the child. So if the matter goes to Court it is likely that contact will be awarded. To what degree that is will depend on how the court feels your ex is able to care for your child. You will need to raise your concerns, and it might be worth raising them in a reply to his solicitor in the first instance. It''s likely your ex will see your concerns as unreasonable, so be prepared. However it would be interesting to find out why he hasn''t bothered for 5 months!

You may be able to avoid Court if you show willing to accepting contact with dad is beneficial, but any contact will need to be progressive, ie small steps. Your son doesn''t have a bond with his dad, so things will need to move slowly, and dad will need to be committed.

Don''t be frightened of this. It is possible that your ex will step up and be a good dad.

  • Joe2020
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25 Mar 12 #320005 by Joe2020
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angelcakkes wrote:

Any advice as to hat the courts would suggest for contact due to him not caring for him properly when having him alone? My son is now 18months and hasn''t seen his father for 5 months. help!

The fact the father wasn''t looking after your son properly is only what you claim and your ex will say different.Unless you can prove this which you can''t then its a lost cause.
The fact you were having to provide the food drink is strange. Have you not considered your ex may have been providing his own food and drink? Also are you saying on every single visit your son came home with wet clothes?

The fact the father hasn''t bothered to see his son for 5 months ( we only have one side of this story) is more relevant I would def think.Bearing that in mind you would expect only a small amount of contact to be awarded and I can''t see that as including overnights for quite a while.

Your son is much better off with his dad in his life than without.If you can work something out with the dad then you''re acting in the best interest of your son.

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