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court for contact after 15 mnths ingnring his kids

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26 Mar 12 #320110 by disneybunny
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ok will try to keep this as brief as possible.

My ex was thrown out of the FMH in dec 2010 by our oldest son due to his behaviour, affairs and abuse. We have 3 children, 15,11 and 4.

Up until April last year I tried too get him to see the children to no avail getting nothing but abuse from him and his partner.

I filed divorce which completed last year and financial settlement which is ongoing. Now it looks like he will not get the amount of money he wants from me he has filed for access.

There is a hearing next month but I have no idea what access he is even asking fr as he has never requested any before. He did put on the forms that he has n issues with my parenting and that he has not seen them since he left, though he did blame me saying I stopped him:huh:

The older children want nothing to do with him and the younger one has no idea whoo he is.

I have no idea what to do as I do not believe he wants to see the children and even my oldest who has had and read his CAFCASS introduction letter said to me mam he is trying to blackmail you.

Help

  • BoysMum
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27 Mar 12 #320224 by BoysMum
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Hi,

I am in a very similar situation to you. My ex left just over a year ago and although I have offered contact, he has refused to take it up to this point.

I have two older children who do not want to see him, although they are over 16 so the courts would not include them in an order. My youngest is approaching 4 years old, and like yours, has very little memory of Dad.

Have you not been invited to mediation? I thought this was compulsory before applying to the family courts?

With regards to contact, I would think he would firstly have to show his commitment to the children. I would think it would be a very gradual introduction, and at the children''s pace given the time he has been absent.

Just my thoughts, but I hope it helps. Have you seen a solicitor?

Take Care.x

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27 Mar 12 #320263 by disneybunny
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attempted mediation in so far as we both had our individual meetings and ex decided it was not right for him. So in truth after months of trying to force him to go he managed to get away with not doing it. Unfortunately the court still views it as an attempt.

Have a solicitor, just no real ideas as to deal with him

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27 Mar 12 #320276 by BoysMum
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Hi,

I don''t know the court process but I am sure there are a lot of people on here who can advise you.

I would hope that the court will deal with contact, especially with your youngest, slowly and gradually, allowing the child to get to know his Dad again. 15 months is a very long time for a little one, as I have experienced myself. He has been absent for a large part of the child''s life, and for that reason alone, I would say gradual reintroduction at the child''s pace would be in the child''s best interest. You also need to be reassured that your ex can show some commitment, which he seems to have lacked in the past.

I am sure someone who has been through this process will jump in and help you soon.

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