Hi all,
Wasn''t sure if I should post elsewhere, but it is kind of to do with contact, so here goes.
As you all know, SD''s contact with mum is rare and sporadic. We are all getting used to that & SD is disengaging from her mum emotionally to some extent. There''s nothing we can do about that as we have tried, and failed to make mum realise that it will affect their relationship. However, SD has made us aware that the content of contact is making her paranoid, and she''s getting more and more upset by it.
Mum has always had body image issues of her own, and from when SD was very little, has been critical of her body. Just lately though, during physical and phone contact, she has been saying things to SD which are upsetting and potentially dangerous to a girl of 13. SD is a very pretty girl with a lovely figure. She has no health concerns, apart from the ones mum is putting in her head. She''s told SD recently that she must see an optician because she has a lazy eye! She doesn''t (my eldest son had a stigmatism from a baby, which was treated successfully), & even though SD knows she hasn''t, its making her paranoid. Mums also told her she hopes she''s not wearing sandals without socks because her feet are ''gross'', and that she''s probably got asthma. None of these things are true, but its becoming an issue. These are just a few examples, there are many more.
We are of course reassuring SD, and our GP has offered to check her for the lazy eye and asthma purely to reassure her, but it shouldn''t be necessary.
We'' re not sure how to deal with this, as SD says every time she sees or speaks to mum she picks on her.
Opinions please.